


The Thawing of the Ice Princess

by flooj9235



Category: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Femslash, Fluffy in spots, slightly off-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-01 00:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flooj9235/pseuds/flooj9235
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While out on Tatooine, Bastila gets overheated and passes out, leaving Jade to carry her to safety.  After a bonding moment on the abandoned Czerka sandcrawler, Bastila realizes just how deep Jade's feelings for her run, and as their journey progresses, she has to deal with her own feelings for the soldier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To give fair warning, this was written for someone with very little knowledge about the Star Wars universe as a whole, and is mostly written as a fluff/angst piece. If you're wanting something with lots of technical jargon and focus on the main quest from a struggling Revan's POV with super strict Jedi ideals, this probably isn't the story for you. (I recommend The Grey Lord of the Sith by Atruya on FFN.) There are some aspects of this that stray from canon ideas, and there are parts of this I'm pretty proud of. If you take the time to read this, then thank you. Hope you enjoy it!

The twin suns of Tatooine burnt down on the Dune Sea, making the air shimmer and dance as Bastila and Jade trudged over the sand. Sweat was pouring off of them, and Jade grumbled about her armor feeling like an oven. Bastila said nothing, trying to maintain her focus and ignore the heat.

Jade paused and pulled her canteen out, taking a few gulps and wiping her forehead. "Need some water?" she asked, offering the canteen to Bastila.

The brunette shook her head, scanning the dunes for any sign of Anchorhead. They weren't lost; Jade had a datapad with a map on it, but the desert seemed to go on forever. The sandy hills swam before her and Bastila swallowed, mopping her own forehead on her robe's sleeve. "How much farther?"

Jade shrugged and dug in her pack for the datapad. "At least an hour, I bet. I'll be surprised if we don't melt before we make it back."

She made a comment about having one of the droids come and vacuum them up, laughing to herself, but Bastila paid her companion no mind. Off in the shimmering distance, she could almost make out a large shape, and racked her brain for what it could be. Too slowly, she remembered the abandoned sandcrawler and frowned at herself. The heat was making it hard to think, and her mind was foggy.

"Yeah," Jade mused, tossing her datapad back in her bag somewhat disgustedly. "Looks like another hour or two out here. God, I can't wait for a shower."

Bastila nodded her agreement and they continued onward. The Knight tried to meditate as they walked, hoping to distract herself, but her brain was muddled and hazy, and she slipped slightly on the sand.

"Bas?" Jade's voice sounded far off. "You okay?"

Bastila felt hands on her shoulders and tried to shake them off, taking another few steps. Her stomach turned over and she felt somewhat like she was back in the escape pod hurtling toward Taris, the ground beneath her spinning and whirling.

Jade's concerned voice was still echoing in her mind and Bastila tried to focus on relaxing and continuing toward Anchorhead, but even moving her head made her dizzy, and she blinked and found herself on her hands and knees in the sand.

The dune sea slipped out of focus and everything around her went blessedly dark. Part of her knew that there were bound to be Sand People around, and she tried to fight away complete unconsciousness, not wanting Jade to have to deal with the warriors alone. If Jade got hurt, Bastila would never forgive herself.

Bastila was vaguely aware of resting against something sturdy and could feel a creeping sense of fear through their bond. Even in her muddled, semiconscious state, she realized Jade was carrying her and that she was curled against the former Sith's chest. Part of her wanted to protest, but she couldn't quite form words, and slid back into the darkness.

=====:=====

Her limbs felt like dead weight and her head was pounding, and Bastila came to with a groan.

Relief filtered through the bond, and Jade's voice reached her ears seconds later. "Hey there, Princess," the woman murmured gently, appearing beside Bastila and pushing a canteen into her hand. "Glad you're awake."

The Knight tried to make sense of her surroundings and attempted to sit up, but her head spun and Jade eased her back to the floor. It was dark and smelled of stale sweat and smoke, but Jade was there and smiling at her, and the uncertainty in the pit of Bastila's stomach faded.

"Drink up," the former soldier encouraged, gesturing to the canteen in Bastila's hand. "I don't know if it's dehydration or heat exhaustion, but you gotta drink something."

Bastila didn't argue, trying again to sit up and only managing it when Jade's hands steadied her. She lifted the canteen, but her hands were shaking so much that she spilled some of it down her front. The water wasn't cold, but felt cool on her skin. Bastila looked down and noticed she'd been stripped down to only the bare necessities; her boots and robe were lying near her feet, and her tunic had been wadded up as a pillow behind her. She looked up at Jade sharply, both furious and embarrassed, but she could only manage to croak before she started coughing at the dryness of her throat.

"I didn't do anything," Jade assured her gently, lifting her hands in surrender. "I just had to get you cooling off before you cooked yourself." A sincere smile appeared on the woman's face. "You're beautiful, but I wouldn't take advantage of you like that."

Bastila had plenty she wanted to say, but could sense the sincerity of the words and decided to let the teasing slide. Her throat was still dry and she tried again to lift the canteen to her lips, but her hands were still shaking and she nearly dropped the bottle.

"What were you thinking?" Jade chided, her composure slipping slightly as she helped steady the canteen. "Just because Canderous calls you an ice queen doesn't mean you can't get overheated."

The brunette didn't have the strength to retort just yet and settled for allowing her indignation to show on her face and through their bond.

Jade rolled her eyes but couldn't stop a grin from forming at the corner of her mouth. "C'mon," she coaxed as she lifted the canteen again. "Open up."

Bastila managed a few gulps of the water before Jade pulled the canteen away, and while it had helped, Bastila wanted nothing more than to drink as much as she possibly could.

Jade caught the look on Bastila's face and chuckled. "In a minute. I don't want you throwing it right back up and losing even more water." She gave Bastila's shoulder a gentle squeeze and moved to dig through her pack, discarded against the metal wall.

Bastila watched quietly, studying the way the muscles in Jade's shoulders moved and vaguely remembering being held close to the soldier's chest. She realized she was staring and looked away quickly, studying their surroundings again. "Where are we?" she rasped, cringing at the sound of her own voice.

"Remember that Czerka sandcrawler?" Jade didn't have to look around to know that Bastila had nodded. "It was closer than anything, and I just needed to get you somewhere inside. Good thing the Sand People decided it wasn't worth their time." She found what she was looking for and turned back to the brunette, gazing at her for a minute before shaking herself out of her thoughts.

Bastila could have sworn she felt a sense of longing before Jade pushed some wraid jerky into her hands.

"Eat that. You probably need the salt." Jade held out the canteen again, watching as Bastila took a curious nibble of the jerky.

The leathery texture wasn't so bad, but as soon as she started chewing, the sharp, dark taste filled her mouth and Bastila shuddered involuntarily, choking on the jerky. "This is vile," she managed, shooting Jade an incredulous look. "Don't tell me you enjoy this!"

Jade laughed and shook her head. "Canderous bought it and told me to bring it with us. I haven't tried it yet, and judging by your reaction I don't think I will."

They shared a grin, and Bastila dutifully ate some more of the dried meat, doing her best to wash the taste away with another few gulps of water.

The canteen was mostly empty, and Jade took it wordlessly, getting to her feet and moving away into the sandcrawler. She returned a few minutes later with a full canteen and returned it to Bastila's hands. Jade's fingertips brushed against Bastila's and she held the brunette's gaze for a few moments.

The intensity of the stare took Bastila's breath away, and she struggled to find something to say before flashes of Jade's thoughts appeared in her head. Bastila saw herself crumple to the sand and felt the burst of terror that had passed through Jade. She watched as Jade remembered looking down at the brunette's unconscious form cradled in her arms. Faint memories of sprinting across the sand toward the abandoned Czerka vehicle appeared to Bastila, quickly replaced by the frantic flash of Jade wrestling Bastila's boots off and the overwhelming helplessness that had settled on the soldier's shoulders. Just as quickly as they'd come, the visions faded and Bastila found herself staring at an embarrassed Jade.

"Sorry," the soldier mumbled, looking uncomfortable at having let her thoughts slip through their bond. "Glad you're okay." She reached out and cupped the brunette's cheek gently, pulling away when she realized what she was doing. Jade tried for a smile and got to her feet again. "I'm gonna... go see if it's getting anywhere near sunset."

As Jade fled, Bastila could sense surprising torment inside the older woman, and she wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. Without thinking, she reached up and touched her cheek, tracing where Jade's fingers had been.  _Jedi_ , she reminded herself,  _you're both Jedi._  It was no secret that Jade didn't completely buy into all of the Jedi's codes and had, on more than one occasion, shamelessly flirted with Bastila. The Knight had been mortified at first, but as she had gotten to know Jade and their bond had grown, Bastila had grown accustomed to the way Jade expressed herself and she'd learned to take it in stride. Though she would never admit it, part of her enjoyed being the object of Jade's affections. Despite her own muddled feelings for the soldier, Bastila knew she couldn't give in to her own emotions; she was supposed to watch over and guide Jade and keep her from returning to her old ways as Revan. That and defeating Malak were the only things that were important. Their silly infatuation was something they both needed to get over.

Bastila drank some more of the water before she moved to get dressed again. She felt recovered enough to make the rest of the journey, and didn't want to wait and see what creatures roamed the dunes at night. Her cheeks felt hot as she pondered how Jade had gotten the robes off of her, but she did her best to ignore those thoughts and recited the Code instead.

Jade returned as Bastila was tugging on her boots, looking calm and back to her normal self. She quirked an eyebrow at Bastila, waiting until Bastila glanced over at her. "Going somewhere?"

"Anchorhead," Bastila replied, quickly growing frustrated with the laces of her boots. Somehow, they'd managed to tangle messily when Jade had pulled them off of her, and her fingers were still not as nimble as they usually were. "We need to get those vaporators."

"Are you sure you're ready?" Jade asked, moving toward the Knight and crouching in front of her. The soldier's hands replaced Bastila's and quickly unknotted the laces before tying them again. She smiled when Bastila thanked her, and got to her feet and extended a hand to the brunette.

Bastila allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, teetering slightly before Jade's hands were resting gently on her shoulders to steady her.

"Bas..."

"I'm fine. We should go." Bastila shrugged Jade's hands away, ignoring the stinging sensation her tone left in the other woman's mind.

Jade looked like she wanted to say something, but she held her tongue and studied the shorter woman for a moment. "Don't overwork yourself, Princess," she said finally, the note of pleading in her voice ringing clear in the empty room. The soldier looked mildly uncomfortable at the silence and forced a grin. "It's just a long way to Anchorhead if I have to carry you again. Not that I mind having a beautiful woman in my arms."

Bastila huffed and turned away so Jade wouldn't see her cheeks flush. "Must you turn everything into an opportunity to needle me?"

"It's not my fault that you're so cute when you're flustered," Jade retorted, laughing when Bastila shot her an indignant look. "Fine, c'mon."

A few minutes later, they were back out on the sand, trudging toward Anchorhead. Jade was less talkative than usual, and Bastila noticed that the air wasn't quite as warm as it had been. She looked over and saw concentration on Jade's face and decided not to interrupt her. A moment passed before Bastila realized Jade was cooling the air with the Force, and she wasn't sure whether to be angry or touched.

"Jade."

The soldier shook herself out of her trance and looked up at Bastila innocently. "What's up?"

Bastila settled for being scolding. "There is no excuse for using the Force for such trivial matters. It is not a toy to be used at a whim."

Jade frowned. "You're not trivial," she mumbled, looking appropriately chastised.

The air around Bastila warmed again and she nodded. "Better. Do try not to resort to treating the Force as a plaything in the future." She got out her canteen and took a drink, giving Jade a pointed look to prove that she could take care of herself.

The soldier pursed her lips and looked away. "Yes ma'am."

The coolness of the tone cut through Bastila and she felt like she'd been kicked. She began mentally reciting the Code, not caring that the words trickled through their bond.

Jade huffed but remained quiet and as they continued on, Bastila tried once again to meditate and preserve her strength, only to find herself distracted by the memories of her own collapse she'd seen through their bond. She tried to clear her mind, focusing on anything but Jade, gazing off into the distance and watching as Anchorhead's far off silhouette came into view through the shimmering air.

Her mother was somewhere inside those walls, probably still in the cantina telling stories about her late husband not being able to provide for her every whim. Bastila grit her teeth and did her best to fend off the swell of emotion rising in her chest. She couldn't think about her mother without wanting to scream, and thinking about her father caused an unfathomable ache in her chest. Neither were conducive to their mission, but she couldn't quite let go of the thoughts.

"You're frustrated," Jade observed after a few minutes.

Bastila didn't say anything, not wanting to admit that her emotions were about to get the better of her.

Jade hesitated for a few minutes, easing her way down a steep slope before glancing at Bastila. If she was still put off by Bastila's scolding, the soldier didn't show it. "... Do you want to talk about it?"

"About my mother?" Bastila scoffed, but hesitated for a moment, the gentle tone of Jade's voice lowering her defenses. "I... I'm unsure. Whenever I start to think about her, I get so... furious." She closed her eyes and sighed. "For as long as I can remember, she was greedy and selfish, always dragging Father away on dangerous hunts... And now Father is dead." Bastila did her best to swallow past the lump that rose in her throat and shook her head. "I can't even begin to describe how much that hurts."

Jade made a soft noise of sympathy and seemed to grapple for something to say.

Bastila opened her eyes and tried to smile at her companion, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I... let's just keep moving."

Jade nodded wordlessly and they continued on toward Anchorhead. Still, the soldier couldn't stay quiet for very long and gave Bastila a curious look a few minutes later. "What was he like?"

Bastila paused to take a drink, giving Jade a cautious look. "Who? Father?" The soldier nodded and Bastila hesitated, allowing her memories to float to the surface of her mind. "He was... kind. Very brave. I remember him being strong, but I was so young when I last saw him. He used to swing me up onto his shoulders and parade around through the house." Bastila chuckled softly. "Father spoiled me, I suppose, but I loved him."

There was a warm smile on Jade's face and she wiped the sweat off her face. "I'm sure he's proud of you, Bas."

The Knight's smile faltered. The man was dead; how could he be proud of her?

Jade saw the change in Bastila's eyes and backpedaled slightly. "No, I didn't-sorry. It's just... I know he's proud of you."

"He's dead," Bastila reminded the soldier numbly, her gaze dropping to the ground.

"There is no death, only the Force," Jade replied, patting Bastila's shoulder before waving her onward.

Bastila could hardly believe her ears; Jade had actually been listening to her all those times Bastila found herself playing the role of Master. The hope and wisdom in the words stuck in her mind as she followed after the former Sith, and part of the ache in her chest eased. She closed her eyes and reached out to the Force, letting it energize her. For a moment, she could almost feel the warmth of her father's smile. Bastila exhaled slowly and opened her eyes, feeling the corners of her mouth turn up in a smile as she followed her companion back to the settlement.


	2. Chapter 2

At Jade's insistence, Bastila stayed on the Ebon Hawk for the next few days, resting and rehydrating after her heat scare. Jolee kept an eye on the Knight, but gave her enough space to keep her from getting irritated. Bastila considered scolding Jade for treating her like a child when she was perfectly capable of monitoring her own health, but remembering Jade's worry for her made her less keen on chastising the soldier.

Jade had gone out to the Czerka depot and managed to purchase some vaporators, then had promptly collected Canderous and left to deliver them to the Sand People. Bastila found herself monitoring their bond carefully, listening for any sign of danger. Flashes of simple wraid attacks trickled through, but with the Mandalorian at her side, Jade seemed to make quick work of any attackers.

It became apparent that the duo would not be returning the same day when Mission bounded back onto the Ebon Hawk after a long day of Pazaak and announced that the suns had set and Anchorhead was cold at night. Bastila picked at her dinner and wondered what dangers lay in the Dune Sea after sunset, swallowing a rush of concern for her bondmate.

Jade's chuckle echoed in her mind and their bond urged Bastila to tune in to Jade's consciousness. The Knight closed her eyes and did just that, allowing the sounds and chill of the desert night to overwhelm her senses. A moment later, she was seeing through Jade's eyes. The soldier was in a room in the encampment, Canderous already asleep by her side. Outside of the small room, Bastila could hear Sand People patrolling and guarding the intruders.

"We're safe," Jade whispered, her voice calming in Bastila's ears. "Sleep well, Princess."

A smile grew on Bastila's face without her even realizing it. She desperately wanted to say something in return, but didn't know what. "Good night," she replied softly, feeling Jade's grin before she returned to her own mind. It took her a few moments to realize she was grinning down at her plate and she shook herself out of her thoughts. Bastila looked up to see Jolee smiling at her knowingly, and she frowned. "Yes?"

Jolee lifted his hands in surrender and shrugged. "Just nice to see that ol' Vrook hasn't made you forget how to smile."

Bastila could tell the older man had some underlying meaning in his words, but before she could ask, he excused himself to get ready for bed. She finished her food and went to the cargo bay to meditate, but thoughts of Jade and her mother derailed her concentration, so she followed Jolee's lead and went to bed.

=====:=====

Bastila sensed someone looming over her and forced herself to wake up, opening her eyes to see a freshly showered Jade sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Hey, Bas," the soldier said with a grin.

Still half-asleep, Bastila was struck by relief and was tempted to throw her arms around Jade in a hug, glad to see that Jade had returned safely. She resisted the urge and rubbed her eyes, stifling a yawn before responding. "You're back."

Jade nodded, her eyes twinkling as she watched Bastila wake. "Yep, just got here a little while ago. Got a map to the Eastern Dune Sea, and the Sand People promised to quit attacking Czerka." The soldier was obviously pleased with herself, but turned a caring eye on the woman in bed. "How're you holding up? You haven't passed out again or anything, have you?"

Bastila waved away Jade's concern. "I'm perfectly fine. Jolee and Mission have barely let me go an hour without drinking something or making sure I've slept."

Jade grinned. "Good." She was quiet for a few moments, studying the brunette fondly.

Bastila shifted uneasily, the attention from the soldier making her insides feel warm and fuzzy. She went through the Code in her head, trying to find guidance and comfort in the words.

"So, do you feel up to heading out tomorrow?" Jade asked, sounding remarkably gentle. "I can take someone else if you don't want to go, but I'd rather have you out there with me."

Bastila's heart thudded and she nodded, trying her best to remain focused on their mission. "I'll join you, yes."

Jade smiled and patted Bastila's knee. "Great. Sorry to wake you," she added, getting to her feet and stretching. "I just... wanted to see you." She grinned again and ducked out of the dormitory, leaving Bastila alone to muddle through the emotions that had risen in her chest.

=====:=====

Bastila double-checked that her canteen was filled and found herself something to eat that would taste better than wraid jerky, just to be safe. With her provisions packed, she headed out into the docking port to find Jade, surprised to see the soldier standing with Canderous near a swoop bike.

The Knight shouldered her bag and headed toward the duo, wondering if the Mandalorian had plans to visit Tatooine's swoop track while she and Jade were off looking for the Star Map. Jade noticed her coming and shot her a smile, muttering something to Canderous before the veteran headed back to the Ebon Hawk.

The swoop bike remained at Jade's hip, humming slightly, and Bastila eyed it uncertainly as she approached.

"Morning, Princess." Jade gestured to the bike and grinned. "Figured we could make the trip a little easier on the bike."

Bastila hesitated, remembering the Taris swoop race and watching Jade's race on the monitors there. Secondhand anxiety had flooded her senses then, and she wasn't thrilled with the prospect of being on a bike capable of going those speeds.

Jade saw the look on Bastila's face and reached out to her appeasingly. "It's going to be fine. It's faster than walking, and I swear I won't do anything dangerous."

Bastila pursed her lips and studied the cautiously pleading look on the former Sith's face, slightly amused at the thought of Jade pleading for anything. "Fine. Let's get going."

They walked the swoop bike to the gate and Jade fished out her hunting pass to show to the guard. He let them through without even needing to see the identification, having recognized Jade from previous excursions.

Once they were out in the Dune Sea, Jade swung a leg over the bike, keeping her foot on the ground to steady the humming vehicle.

Bastila tentatively climbed on behind her, settling herself on the bike and trying to pretend she was confident and comfortable.

Jade lifted her foot and revved the engine gently. "Ready?"

Bastila muttered an agreement, and Jade started the bike with a lurch. They shot off, and Bastila stifled a yelp, grabbing at the first thing she could to steady herself. It took her a moment to realize she'd flung her arms around Jade, but she couldn't quite make herself let go.

Jade was laughing as she slowed the bike to a more manageable speed, and she turned her head slightly to speak. "Sorry. It's got a kick to it."

Bastila scoffed, her fear slowly forgotten as she became aware of the soldier's strong shoulders steering the bike with ease. Jade's confidence was slightly soothing, and Bastila rested her head against the former Sith's shoulder. The miles flew past beneath them, but Bastila paid no attention, too caught up in how safe she felt with Jade there.

The soldier slowed the bike after a while, glancing over her shoulder at Bastila. "Doin' okay?"

Bastila nodded and reluctantly eased her hold on Jade. "Fine, thank you." The suns were hot above her, though she only noticed it now that she wasn't so focused on Jade, and Bastila reached into her bag and got a drink.

Jade followed suit, giving Bastila a smile that the Knight couldn't quite interpret, then started studying the map. She glanced up at their surroundings a few times, finally deciding on a course and putting the map away. "Ready to keep moving?"

"How much farther?" Bastila asked, wiping her forehead on her sleeve.

"Believe it or not, only a little over half an hour. I don't know why I didn't think of this before. Hold on," Jade added belatedly as she started the bike up again.

Bastila wrapped her arms firmly around the soldier's middle, easily settling back into her position nestled against Jade's shoulder. She sighed without even realizing it, feeling content and secure behind Jade. A faint mixture of amusement and affection trickled through their bond, and Bastila chose to ignore all the warnings she should have been giving Jade about infatuation and the dark side, savoring the moment instead.

=====:=====

They found the Star Map hidden deep within a krayt dragon's cave. Jade teamed up with a hunter she knew from Anchorhead, and together they lured the beast out of its lair and into a strategically placed minefield. The dragon didn't stand a chance and fell to the sand with an agonized roar, the sound so loud it hurt Bastila's ears.

While Jade had been recording the Star Map's coordinates, Bastila had remembered her mother's plea and looked around in the cave. She could barely see in the darkness, and the glow from the ancient map did little to help. Bastila had ignited her lightsaber and let the yellow blade illuminate the cave. It hadn't taken her long to find a frayed pack with her surname stitched into the material.

She knew Jade had seen her find the holocron inside, but Jade had refrained from asking her about it, giving the Knight space while she tried to figure out how to feel. The ride back to Anchorhead was quiet and Bastila pretended she wasn't holding onto the older woman a little tighter, trying to let Jade's strength bolster her.

The trip hadn't taken much time, and the duo walked back to the Ebon Hawk in silence, the swoop bike humming between them. Canderous helped Jade load the bike back into the ship, while Bastila retreated to the women's dormitory and did her best to meditate. Her emotions were too riotous and every part of her wanted to give in and cry and seethe and hurt. All of her training had dictated that she not let those urges get the best of her, but she was acutely aware of the chip in her pocket and her duty to deliver it to her mother. She couldn't even look at it first; there was a password on the chip that likely only her mother knew.

Jade's voice broke her out of her thoughts and Bastila opened her eyes to see the soldier hesitating in the doorway.

"Jade," Bastila greeted, surprised at the thickness of her voice.

"I felt... You're upset and..." It was as close to speechless as Jade had ever been. The soldier bit her lip and studied Bastila uncertainly. "Is there anything I can do?"

There was tenderness in Jade's voice, and Bastila scoffed inwardly; she didn't deserve any pity. Her emotions were threatening to be her own undoing, and she wanted to be strong enough to work through them on her own. Part of her yearned for the comfort Jade's words promised, but she ignored that part of her and shook her head. "I'm fine," she replied, her tone colder than she'd meant for it to be.

Jade looked somewhat hurt but remained in the doorway. "... Are you sure?"

Bastila nodded tersely, looking away. She refused to lose her composure in front of Jade and become an example of everything the Jedi were supposed to avoid.

"Well… Carth said… I wanted to tell you we're leaving in the morning." Jade shifted uncertainly, studying Bastila with obvious concern. "So if you were going to talk to your mom…"

Bastila held her breath, trying not to tense. "I see." Her voice was still cool and she instantly regretted the hurt she felt through their bond.

Jade sighed. "I'm here if you need me, Bas," she promised before she walked away.

Something in Bastila's chest ached and she waited until she was certain she was alone before crawling onto her bed and finally allowing tears to fall.

=====:=====

The morning air was still cool, but there was already a hint of the scorching heat to come. Bastila wasn't sure she was prepared as she slipped out of the ship and headed for the city. Her thoughts were running wild, imagining different scenarios that could play out. Her stomach felt as though it was in knots as she walked through Anchorhead and every instinct was telling her to avoid the confrontation she was heading toward and return to the Ebon Hawk.

The snort of a ronto startled her out of her thoughts and Bastila jolted away, her hand going to the hilt of her lightsaber. Nearby Duros started laughing at her reaction, and Bastila felt her cheeks warm. She turned away and continued toward the cantina, berating herself for being so distracted. Ever since she'd heard news of her mother looking for her, she'd been on edge and unable to fully suppress her emotions. If the Council ever found out, they might demote her to Padawan once again.

Early morning traders were out and announcing their wares, the alien tongues carrying across the sand. Bastila ignored them as best she could, politely declining in Basic when an Ithorian came up and shoved some of his products in her face. He persisted, and Bastila finally showed him her lightsaber hilt in a burst of irritation, and the alien backed off immediately.

A groggy, confused presence flickered into her mind and Jade's voice sounded quietly in her ears.  _Bas? Where are you?_

The Knight almost smiled at the sleepy sound of Jade's voice. She was nearing the cantina and took a moment to allow Jade to tune into her senses and see her surroundings. "I'll return shortly," she whispered.

 _Do you want me to come?_  Jade sounded considerably more awake and there was concern obvious in her voice.

Bastila hesitated at the cantina door. She weighed the options before shaking her head. "No, I won't be long. Go back to sleep."

Jade didn't answer and Bastila closed off their connection, wanting to have her energies focused on keeping calm in front of her mother. With a heavy sigh, she headed into the cantina, painfully aware of the holocron in her pocket.

The air in the cantina was stale and smelled of smoke and coffee. Dust floating in the air was illuminated by the streams of sunlight, and off in the corner, a sleepy looking Bith was playing his instrument quietly.

Her mother was in the same corner she'd been occupying when Bastila and Jade had first encountered her. Helena had perfected the art of the a haughty sneer as she studied the occupants of the cantina. When her eyes landed on Bastila, Helena's frown turned to confusion, then a decidedly blank expression settled into place on the older woman's face.

"Hello, Mother," Bastila ventured, forcing herself to walk closer to her mother so they wouldn't have to yell across the cantina. Putting off shouting for as long as possible seemed sensible, Bastila mused wryly.

"Back already?" Helena retorted briskly. "You didn't even look for the holocron, did you? Come to deny me my last wish?"

Bastila barely resisted rolling her eyes and dipped her hand into her pocket.

Helena's eyes flicked to the motion and her eyebrows rose.

"I have the holocron, Mother," Bastila affirmed, running her thumb over the chip before pulling it out of her pocket. She half expected Helena to lunge for it, but was surprised when the older woman only nodded.

"I'll admit it, I am impressed. Perhaps there's some merit in those reclusive old codgers you're with."

Bastila bristled. "Do you really think so little of the Jedi? Did you despise me that much that you would willingly pawn me off on them?"

"Pawn you off? Is that what you think? That I would sell off my only daughter to the highest bidder?" Helena looked stung. "Ignoring your family for all these years certainly has done a number on your memory!"

"I remember how you were, Mother," Bastila shot back, her eyes narrowing. "Always pushing Father to find more treasure, just so you could continuing living luxuriously. He worked so hard to provide for you, and now he's dead." Her voice stuck in her throat, and Bastila swallowed hard before continuing. "I loved him, and I never got to say goodbye. This is all I have left of him," Bastila spat, nodding at the chip in her hand, "and you want to take that away from me, too. So very well, Mother, you can have your way once again." She thrust the holocron into her mother's hands and turned to leave, frustrated by the fact that she was near tears.

"I loved your father, too, Bastila," Helena retorted. "I begged him not to do anything dangerous, to find a different job, but he loved his hunts." The older woman sighed. "He missed you, dear. It broke his heart to see you go; he wanted so badly to take you on his hunts and have you follow in his footsteps." Helena scoffed to herself at the memory. "It was too dangerous, for both of you, but he wouldn't listen. When the Jedi discovered how talented you were, I knew I had to send you away. Not to get rid of you, to protect you. The treasure-hunting life was no way to raise a child, Bastila. We were always moving, always hungry. I knew better than to think that we could care for you, and the Jedi promised us that you would be looked after."

Bastila paused; the tone of her mother's voice had softened considerably, and she couldn't sense any deceit in the words. "You never stopped Father," she pointed out weakly, the explanation she'd been given jarring everything she'd believed out of place.

Helena chuckled bitterly. "I tried, many times. Don't you remember the fights? Oh, I begged him to stop, but once I fell ill... He was stubborn, like you, and kept trying to find new ways to pay for my treatments." The woman watched as Bastila turned around slowly. "We tried to contact you, but never got an answer."

"You know the Jedi don't allow contact with family," Bastila reminded the older woman, mulling over the things her mother was saying. "Your treatments? Are you actually...?"

"I'm dying, Bastila," Helena answered, her tone resigned. "I didn't lie about that. There's nothing more anyone can do."

The Knight's mind was spinning. Most of what she thought she knew had been turned on its head, and the relatively civil conversation had brought her answers and enough peace to let go of her resentment.

Helena sighed and studied the holocron in her hands for a moment. "I realize I wasn't a very good mother to you, Bastila. I'm sorry for that." She looked up at her daughter and frowned slightly. "I'm sorry you feel that I stole your father away from you. That was never my intention. I thought you would be able to see... But I suppose you were just a child." She shook her head and tutted. "I thought I would feel better having this piece of your father," Helena said, holding up the holocron, "but this, talking with you, this is what I really wanted."

Bastila watched numbly as her mother entered a password into the holocron and offered it to her. "Mother, I-"

"I want you to have it, Bastila. Your father would have wanted you to have it, and you deserve to remember him just as much as I do." Helena pressed the holocron into Bastila's palm and closed her fingers around it gently. "Please take it. Clearing the air between us and seeing the beautiful woman you've grown into is all I need. I'm at peace now."

She couldn't argue and tried to figure out how to speak. "Mother, I... How long?"

Helena shrugged and waved her daughter's concern away. "A few more months, maybe. Don't worry about me. I'm sure you have more important things to do."

Bastila shook her head impatiently. "No, I-I want to see you again. I want us to have a chance to talk again. To get to know one another." The words came tumbling out before Bastila had even acknowledged their presence in her mind, but the sincerity behind them surprised her.

Helena looked stunned. "I... see. Bastila, there's nothing-"

"No," Bastila interrupted, digging her free hand into her pocket. "Mother, please. Take these credits and go to Coruscant. Find a doctor. I'll come find you when... When my mission is finished."

Helena hesitated, glancing between the sum of credits and her daughter's pleading face. Finally she sighed and chuckled softly. "Just like your father. Very well, Bastila. I'll go."

The Knight's shoulders sagged with relief and she smile in spite of herself. "Thank you." The two studied each other for a few minutes, and finally Bastila spoke. "I would stay, but... My mission... I'll be leaving within the next few hours, and..."

"I understand." Helena's smile widened and she reached forward to cup Bastila's cheek in her hand gently. "My beautiful girl. Be safe."

"I will," Bastila promised softly. She couldn't quite believe the turn the morning had taken, but the promise of future conversations and reconnecting with someone that seemed to care about her for more than just her Battle Meditation had her almost excited. "When will you leave?"

"The next transport leaves tomorrow morning, I believe. I'll get a seat there and be waiting on Coruscant," Helena replied. She saw the look on Bastila's face and raised her hands in surrender. "An old woman's promise may not mean much, but you have my word, Bastila."

There was nothing but sincerity radiating off her mother and the Knight let out a quiet sigh of relief. "Good. Thank you, Mother," Bastila added quickly. "For the holocron, and..."

The older woman just smiled. "Good luck, dear."

Bastila returned the smile uncertainly, finally tearing herself away and leaving. Carth would never forgive her if she was late and they got stuck in hyperspace traffic. She left the cantina, feeling much lighter than she had when she'd entered, stepping out into the oppressive heat of Anchorhead.

Jade was sitting in the shade across the road, and she jumped up when she saw Bastila exiting the cantina. She brushed the sand off her tunic and crossed over toward Bastila anxiously. "Hey, how'd it go?"

Bastila smiled in response, and allowed her bondmate to see some of the fresh memories. Jade's eyes lit up as she realized what had happened and a broad grin stretched across her face.

"Congratulations, Princess," the soldier murmured, looking like she wanted to grab the Knight up in a hug. Jade settled for patting Bastila's shoulder. "I'm proud of you."

For some reason, those words made Bastila's heart flutter, but she just ran her thumb over the holocron once more. It wasn't just a dream, and Bastila was tempted to cheer. Jade snickered at the mental image they shared, and after an insincere scowl from the Knight, the duo returned to the Ebon Hawk.


	3. Chapter 3

Carth set them on a hyperspace route toward Manaan, and once they were underway, the crew retreated to their separate spaces.

While Jade went off to discuss their route with Carth, Bastila headed to the dormitory, fingers still tracing the outline of the holocron in her pocket. She sat on the edge of her bunk and pulled out the holocron. Bastila studied the chip for a long time, half afraid of what she would find upon activating it. All the things her mother had said had revealed how skewed her memories were. She didn't want what she remembered about her father to be wrong as well.

"Bas?"

The Knight looked up at the intrusion, relaxing when she saw that it was only Jade.

"Everything okay?"

Bastila nodded and held up the holocron. "Yes, I was just..."

Jade took a hesitant step into the room, moving closer when Bastila didn't react poorly to her presence. "Have you looked at it yet?"

The brunette shook her head. "No, I... I'm not sure I should."

Jade raised an eyebrow and sat beside Bastila, studying her carefully before speaking. "Why?"

The Knight hesitated and shrugged again. "The Council…"

"The hell with the Council," Jade retorted, her tone still gentle. "This is your dad, Bastila. You know how much he meant to you. Are you really gonna let this opportunity slip away because of a few old guys in an enclave thousands of lightyears away?"

Indignation on behalf of the Jedi rose in Bastila's chest, but part of her agreed with Jade's words. The time that had passed since she was a girl had done nothing to erase the fond memories of her father, but the fear lingering in the back of her mind kept her hesitant. She felt Jade's questioning gaze on her and sighed.

"I was wrong about my mother," Bastila admitted softly. "She's nothing like what I thought I remembered. I… I don't want to be wrong about Father, too."

Understanding and sympathy flickered through their bond and Jade rested a hand on Bastila's shoulder. "What's better, not looking through it and always being afraid of having been wrong, or looking through it and getting a chance to see for yourself?"

The words turned themselves over and over in Bastila's mind and she bit her lip as she stared down at the holocron.

Jade gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I don't want to push you into something you don't want to do," she promised, "so whatever you decide to do is perfectly okay. But I don't want you to spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if' either."

Bastila considered it for a moment, nursing the ache in her chest at the thought of missing out on her father once again. Jade's hand on her shoulder was comforting and gave her the strength she needed to make her decision. Bastila nodded to herself and flicked her thumb across the power switch.

Jade squeezed her shoulder again and moved to get up. "I'll let you-"

"No," Bastila interjected, closing her eyes as the soldier paused. "Don't leave. Please. I'd… I'd appreciate it if you stayed."

The soldier seemed surprised but sank back onto the bed beside Bastila. "Are you sure? I don't want to intrude..."

Bastila nodded. "I want you to stay," she returned, choosing not to admit how much more secure she felt with Jade at her side.

"Okay." Jade's voice was soft and she sat with Bastila quietly until the brunette opened her eyes and started navigating through the holocron's contents.

Most of what she found were journal entries, with a few of them being recordings of his voice as he traveled. She played one of the entries, listening as the warm baritone voice spoke of treasures on far off planets. The mere sound of his voice made a lump rise in Bastila's throat and she closed her eyes and listened.

The holocron had a section full of pictures from places her parents had traveled, but she was surprised to come across one with her parents side-by-side, with her own infant self cradled gently in Helena's arms. More of the pictures showed the passage of time as Bastila grew from infant to child, and Bastila wondered vaguely what her life would have been like if she hadn't become a Jedi. Short recordings of her father chasing a giggling toddler brought a smile to both Bastila and Jade's faces, and the soldier wrapped an arm around Bastila's shoulders.

"You were a cute kid," Jade murmured when Bastila turned off the holocron.

Bastila stared down at the chip in her hands for a few moments before nodding absently. There was plenty of data she hadn't even looked at, things that could be saved for a different time. From what she could tell, though, her father had been just the man she had envisioned, and the fear in her chest dissipated. It took her a few moments to realize her cheeks were wet with tears and she dried them on her sleeves. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"Bastila, for once in your life, just shut up and let yourself feel something," Jade retorted with a smile, hugging the Knight gently.

"I'm a Jedi," Bastila protested weakly, not making much effort to fight off the comfort.

"You're so much more than a Jedi. You're a human being, Bastila, not a droid with Force powers. It's okay to feel, no matter what the Council says." Jade gave her a serious look. "You can't always be strong. It's not healthy and it'll only make you hurt worse inside."

Bastila wanted to interrupt, but Jade shook her head and continued speaking.

"We're bondmates, Bas, and I'd like to think we're friends, too. I... I care about you, and I don't want you to have to suffer alone. I'm here to help you, Bastila. I can take a turn being strong enough for the both of us."

It didn't take much more than that for Bastila to allow herself to sag against Jade. Part of her ached to grieve for the father she had missed for so long, but she started mentally reciting the Code instead, only to have Jade scoff at her.

"It's okay to hurt, Princess," Jade murmured. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen."

The words were so simple and sincere that Bastila nearly forgot how to breathe. She trusted Jade and allowed her emotions to overwhelm her. She cried and shook and simply felt for the first time in years, but Jade stayed there, supporting her.

After she'd gotten control of herself, Bastila realized vaguely that she felt better, almost refreshed, and the notion was completely foreign to her. Jade rubbed her back soothingly and Bastila took a shaky breath.

"You okay?" Jade asked softly, watching when Bastila pulled away and dried her eyes.

Bastila nodded slowly and did her best to compose herself. She felt the soldier's hand come up and tuck some of her hair behind her ear, reveling in the affectionate gesture. "Thank you," she murmured, opening her eyes and focusing on Jade's gentle face.

Jade shrugged nonchalantly, a warm smile replacing the trace of concern in her eyes. "That's what I'm here for."

Bastila studied the older woman for a moment, gratitude flooding her senses. "No, Jade, I... You're always here for me when I need you the most, even though I keep pushing you away."

The soldier looked somewhat flustered. "Yeah, but..."

As Bastila took in the sight of Jade, she was acutely aware of the power swirling around the former Sith. Simply being there beside her left Bastila feeling breathless, and she tried to pretend that it was because of how strong Jade was and not the warmth and affection in her chest. She berated herself for allowing those thoughts to even cross her mind and sighed. "I shouldn't... I shouldn't be the one to watch over you," she admitted slowly. "I'm not... I can't be a good mentor for you when my own emotions are so..."

Jade's face changed, but she hesitated before responding. "It's okay to feel," she reminded the Knight.

Bastila shook her head. "You're too kind to me. It's just that... I feel like I've been caught up in the wake of your destiny. How can I guide you when you're so far beyond me?" The brunette stopped herself and sighed. "If I could, I would leave and get some distance between us. I've become more of a hindrance than a help, and you need someone that can keep you safe, not distract you."

The soldier scoffed and looked almost furious. "Like hell you're a hindrance, Bastila! It's thanks to you I've even made it this far! I know I joke about it, but I do actually listen to you. I try to think about how you would handle something and let you guide me even when you don't realize it. Don't even try to pretend you're not important." Jade's eyes were flashing, but the disbelief on her face gave way to near-desperation. "You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're my best friend, and I love you."

Bastila's breath caught in her throat as the words lingered between them.

Jade paled, looking a little afraid of what she'd let slip, but she shook it off and continued. "Bas, look. I know... I know I give you hell sometimes, but you really are important to me."

The Knight was at a loss for words. Jade's admission had made all the feelings and flirting real, giving it a name that made Bastila's heart flutter despite knowing how taboo it was.

Jade studied her quietly, trying to see what the brunette's reaction would be. "I... know we're Jedi, and I can understand why you'd want to leave. But Bastila, I..." Jade sighed. "I don't want you to go. Maybe that's selfish, but I love you and don't want to lose you."

Bastila struggled to find her voice and to ignore the urge to reach out and kiss the soldier. "We... Jade, I... Malak will-"

"That's not the point, Bastila. I'm going to defeat Malak, but I want to do that with you at my side. We can keep each other strong, Bas. Whatever the Council told you is wrong. Loving you is never going to tear me down, only give me something to fight for. And Malak can't take that away from me."

Jade sounded so sure of herself, and Bastila found the confidence radiating from the soldier reassuring, despite the knot of fear in the pit of her stomach. "One of us needs to be strong," Bastila protested weakly, seeing the sense in Jade's words and feeling her resolve falter. "One of us should resist."

Jade looked like she had a response ready, but she paused and studied the look on Bastila's face carefully, her eyes growing sad. "Sorry," she murmured, sighing heavily. "I thought... Through the bond... I thought you might have felt the same way." The soldier tried to smile but the pain in her expression was clear.

She got to her feet and tugged at the bottom of her tunic, shrugging and shaking herself. "Sorry," she said again. "I'm not gonna push you. But... I'm glad you know." It took her some effort, but she looked Bastila in the eye and smiled sadly. "I'll leave you alone, Princess."

Bastila swallowed hard as Jade moved for the door, reaching out through their bond. _Jade, wait._

Jade stopped but didn't turn around.

An ache seeped through their bond and Bastila hated that she was hurting the soldier who had just admitted loving her.

"Jade, I don't know how to... You mean it, don't you?" Bastila watched Jade nod slowly and felt her heart jump at the wordless response. "How can you be so sure? Malak is trying his best to track us, I'm sure of it. How do you know that giving in to our feelings won't...?"

Jade hesitated and turned to look at Bastila again. "Our feelings?" she echoed.

Bastila felt her cheeks warm and she gazed at the soldier helplessly. "I-yes, but..."

A hint of a smile appeared on the soldier's face, growing the longer she let the words sink in. "I can't guarantee nothing will happen, Bas, but I promise I'll do everything I can to protect you. And if I end up dead trying, then at least I'll die knowing you love me."

The thought of the soldier perishing didn't sit well with Bastila but the sweet words made her stomach flip. Deep down, she was aware of feeling the same way and knew that she would give her life to protect Jade if the need arose. Part of her mind told her that was the duty the Council had given her, but Bastila knew it ran far deeper than that.

She watched as Jade extended a hand to her, allowing the soldier to pull her feet. Jade didn't release her hand, instead grasping Bastila's other hand as well and gazing at her fondly. It vaguely occurred to the Knight that she'd always liked the green of Jade's eyes, and seeing the affection in them made her chest constrict.

"I love you, Bastila," she promised softly. "And I'm pretty sure you love me too. I swear I won't push you, but I'd really, really like to kiss you."

The Knight's heart was pounding in anticipation, and she was overcome with the desire to stretch up and press a kiss to Jade's lips. A million doubts ran through her mind, all her teachings telling her that what she was about to do was so very wrong, but she just gazed up at the woman before her.

Jade didn't falter when Bastila didn't respond right away, her eyes taking in the sight of Bastila like she was something precious and perfect. The soldier paused for a moment, seeming to decide something before opening her mouth. "Know why I call you Princess?" she asked. "It's not because Canderous said it and it got you all irritated. Maybe a little, but… I think you're just… You deserve to be treated like one." For the first time that Bastila could remember, Jade flushed with embarrassment. "Shit, that sounded stupid, sorry. I'm not very-being romantic is hard."

Bastila smiled in spite of herself, shaking her head slightly. "I don't believe I've ever seen you babbling."

Jade looked mortified. "I'm not! It's-am I?"

"Jade," Bastila called softly, gazing up at the soldier she cared about. Loved, she corrected herself mentally. There was no point in lying to herself about it anymore.

The older woman went silent, watching Bastila nervously.

"Shut up and kiss me."

Jade looked stunned, but the shock quickly changed into a wide grin, and she reached up and cupped Bastila's cheek in her hand, stroking the Knight's cheek with her thumb before leaning in slowly. "Tell me to stop," she breathed, raising her eyebrows as she gave Bastila a chance to back out.

Bastila answered by stretching up and closing the distance between them. It occurred to her a split second before their lips touched that she had no idea how to kiss someone, but then Jade's lips were against hers and all her worries melted away.

The pair spent what felt like forever and no time at all in each other's arms, sharing sweet kisses and exploring the new closeness they had.

When Jade finally broke away, she pulled Bastila close, cradling the Knight against her chest. "I love you, Bastila," she whispered.

Bastila rested her head on Jade's shoulder, her chest fluttering and light. She felt peaceful and content, like she'd found a missing part of herself. The Council had to be wrong; if this was what love felt like, she'd never felt stronger.

The ship lurched beneath them, nearly sending the pair to the floor. Jade's arms tightened around Bastila protectively and Carth started yelling from the cockpit.

The soldier looked down at Bastila apprehensively before she broke away and started for the cockpit. Bastila followed right behind Jade, only to watch in horror as the Ebon Hawk was dragged into the Leviathan's hangar. They barely had time to plan an escape before Sith swarmed the ship and arrested them.

Carth fought it until one of the soldiers hit him with a stun baton, and then he fell silent and slumped to the floor.

Bastila tried her best to be cooperative while still maintaining obvious aversion to the Sith. The soldiers didn't take kindly to it, though, and wrenched her wrists behind her back more violently than necessary. She cringed and heard Jade snarl.

"Don't hurt her!" the soldier barked, only to have herself smashed into the bulkhead while the Sith handcuffed her and berated her for not cooperating.

Bastila felt the burst of pain through their bond and ached to defend Jade, but knew it was hopeless with Sith surrounding them.

"Quit fighting," one of the officers hissed at Jade as he pulled her away from the wall roughly.

Jade was panting and scowled at him, but didn't resist. She looked to Bastila and seemed relieved to see that the Knight was not in pain. A cut on her forehead was leaking blood but Jade didn't pay any attention to it, gazing at Bastila instead.  _We're gonna be okay, Princess_ , she promised mentally, distracted by the sounds of Mission and Zaalbar fighting against their captors.

"Shit," she muttered, and Bastila felt the soldier's worry shift to the young Twi'lek. "Calm down, Mish! They're only gonna hurt you if you fight!"

"That's enough from you," the officer growled, forcing Jade down the hall with a rough shove, getting another pained grunt out of the Jedi.

Bastila and Carth were hauled along behind Jade, and Bastila repressed a shudder at the darkness swirling around them. Whatever was about to happen was not going to end well.


	4. Chapter 4

White hot pain blinded her senses, and it was all Bastila could do not to pass out. Carth's groans sounded far away, nearly drowned out by the roaring in her ears. From even farther away, Jade's voice was yelling desperately. Bastila focused on that noise, trying to center herself and block out the pain, going almost numb when the torture sequence ended. She heard Carth collapse nearby, sagging to her hands and knees and gasping for breath. Her muscles barely had the strength to support her, but she forced herself to stay conscious.

Admiral Karath laughed. "I see Carth has withered in his old age. Once again, Jedi," he spat. "Tell me where your Enclave is!"

Through the searing aches in her body, Bastila could sense the soldier's hesitation. She looked up and met Jade's gaze, wishing she could see the green of the soldier's eyes that was blurred out by the stasis cages between them. From what she could see, Jade looked absolutely miserable and seemed desperate to stop the pain she knew Bastila was suffering.

Bastila shook her head slowly, vaguely amazed at the effort it took to do so.  _Be strong,_ she pleaded mentally _. Don't give him anything._

Jade groaned, the sound nearly a sob, and tried to argue, but Bastila just shook her head again before trying to sit up.

"Alderaan," Jade said weakly, apologizing over and over through their bond. "The Enclave's on Alderaan."

The admiral laughed. "You're lying. The academy was on Dantooine, but the Sith have bombed it off the face of the planet."

Horror filtered through Bastila's clouded mind, and she had a moment to look at Jade before pain overtook her once more. Her body convulsed and she heard herself screaming. Bastila felt Jade's presence surround her before the torture chamber faded to black.

She didn't know how much time had passed when she woke, but her muscles felt limp and it took almost superhuman effort to lift her head.

Another crackling of electricity echoed through the chamber and Bastila cringed instinctively before realizing that she was no longer being tortured. She looked up and saw Jade collapsed in her stasis cage, electricity coursing through her body.

It took a minute for what was happening to sink in, but when it did, Bastila nearly lashed out with the Force in a fury. The torture guards stood at the terminal, taking turns pressing the button that sent the electricity through Jade's chamber, talking and joking between themselves.

Anger and protectiveness flared up in Bastila's mind at the sight of the woman she loved being tortured beyond unconsciousness and she turned her attention on the guards. Gathering what Force energy she could from the darkness of the ship, Bastila guided the guards' thoughts to think they had finished their duty, doing her best to lay still on the floor so they wouldn't suspect her.

The guards hesitated at first, but then one started to leave and dragged his friend with him. Once the door hissed shut behind the men, Bastila let out the breath she'd been holding and pushed herself to her knees. Jade was still lying on the floor, burns becoming obvious on her skin, and the Knight was torn between cringing and being tempted to subject the entire Sith army to the torture they'd put Jade through.

Their bond was unnervingly quiet, enough to worry Bastila, and she reached out with the Force once more, able to sense a faint heartbeat. Relief settled on her shoulders, and Bastila resigned herself to wait for any sign of movement from the soldier.

Carth stirred first, groaning under his breath and asking Bastila what had happened. She explained what she could remember in hushed tones, revealing the destruction of the Jedi Enclave to Carth and aching at the loss. A large part of her was extremely concerned that she hadn't been able to sense the attack, but then Carth started grumbling about the admiral and Bastila did her best to nod in all the right places, keeping her focus on Jade.

It seemed like an eternity had passed when the torture chamber's door finally slid open. Bastila and Carth both tensed, expecting to see more guards that had come to torture them. Instead, Canderous stood in the doorway, twirling a blaster on his finger.

Bastila almost hated that she was grateful to see him, never having gotten along with the Mandalorian, and watched as he headed for the terminal.

"About fracking time," Carth snarled. "What'd you do, stop by the galley and have a few drinks first?"

"Carth," Bastila admonished, interrupted by Canderous' gruff snort.

"Okay flyboy, you go into a medically induced coma and see how long it takes you to get up and running." Canderous leveled a cold stare at the pilot and was met with embarrassed silence. He nodded to himself and started searching through the terminal's interface.

Bastila took a moment to be grateful that her mind trick had worked so well; the guards had apparently forgotten to log out of the terminal. A moment later, the shimmering field surrounding her disappeared and she was free.

Canderous was talking the moment the cages were deactivated, mentioning something about their equipment, but Bastila paid him no mind, crawling over toward Jade. The soldier's breathing was shallow, but she was alive, and Bastila ached to whisk her away to some undiscovered corner of the galaxy and hide away from Malak and keep harm from coming to her ever again.

The thudding of boots came up behind her and Canderous tapped her on the shoulder. Bastila turned to look at him impatiently, surprised when he pressed a few stims and a medpac into her hand.

"This oughta get her up," he muttered, turning back to Carth. "I'm going to gather the rest of the crew and head for the hangar." He tossed the pilot a small communications device and seemed somewhat impressed when Carth caught it. "Keep in touch and get your asses down there as soon as you can."

Carth nodded and climbed to his feet shakily, looking over at Bastila as the Mandalorian left the room. "How's Jade?"

Bastila didn't respond for a moment, gently injecting the stims into Jade's arm. "Alive," she answered softly, willing the soldier to stir.

Carth sighed. "She better be more than just alive in a few minutes or it's gonna be you and me against a ship full of Sith." He left to go find their equipment, leaving Bastila alone with Jade.

Bastila applied the medpac to the woman before her, tossing the packaging aside and studying the soldier's face. Jade looked remarkably peaceful despite having been tortured, and even with the burns and scars that riddled her skin, Bastila thought she was beautiful. Of their own accord, her fingers reached out and stroked Jade's cheek, moving to cradle the soldier's face in her palm.

Moments later, as if on cue, Jade woke. Her brow furrowed and she tried to open her eyes, letting out a quiet grunt of pain. Finally, her eyes flickered open, and Bastila tried not to let the sight of the soldier's green eyes overwhelm her.

Jade seemed to realize Bastila was there and focused her gaze on the Knight for a moment. She struggled to push herself up off the floor, managing to prop herself up on her elbow.

"Jade," Bastila started, surprised when the soldier reached up and slung an arm around her neck. Jade pulled Bastila close and buried her face in Bastila's shoulder. Bastila was startled by how violently she was trembling, and it took her a moment to realize that the soldier wasn't in physical pain.

"I'm so sorry," Jade mumbled hoarsely, clinging to the younger woman like she was afraid of losing her. "I didn't want to. I wouldn't-"

Bastila hushed the soldier and relished the embrace; despite knowing that Jade was alive, she'd been worried she wouldn't get the chance to feel the soldier's arms around her again. "You did the right thing. I'm glad."

Jade gave a weak snort and released Bastila reluctantly. "Did Canderous come already?"

Bastila nodded and reached out to steady the soldier, already missing the warmth of the hug. "Not long ago. Be careful," she added, "Admiral Karath's guards tortured you even after you had passed out."

Jade shrugged Bastila's concern away, moving to get to her feet. "We need to… Force," she muttered as she got to her knees and swayed dangerously. "We need to get moving before anyone realizes we're free. Karath said Malak's coming, and he'll probably be here soon."

Bastila frowned and tried to help steady the soldier once again, glad when Jade didn't resist. The last part of the statement hung in her mind, the news almost frightening. Malak's arrival would mean almost certain death and failure of their mission.

"Jade! You're awake!" Carth exclaimed as he came back into the room, fully armored and looking ready for a fight. "How do you feel? You looked... Well, dead."

The soldier shot Carth a look and allowed Bastila to pull her to her feet. "You didn't look so hot either, I'll bet. Got a medpac or something? My head is killing me."

Carth seemed almost amused for a moment before he retreated to the equipment room to get another medpac.

Bastila caught Jade's shoulders and studied her concernedly, watching for any sign of discomfort. The soldier caught her eye and gave her a weary, yet crooked grin.

"I'm fine, Princess," she teased. "Once I get a medpac, I'll be good to go. Unless you wanted to kiss it better," Jade added with an impish grin.

Bastila was tempted to scowl, but tossed a glance over her shoulder and saw Carth had yet to return. She turned back to Jade and stretched up to press a kiss to her lips, startling both herself and the soldier with the bold move.

"Uh... Wow," Jade managed when Bastila pulled away, a halfway awed look on her face.

Bastila raised an eyebrow and smiled. She started to say something, but the pilot charged back into the room with a medpac and brought it over to Jade, already preparing the injection. Bastila plucked the syringe from his hands wordlessly and pressed the needle into Jade's arm, using the Force to numb the area.

It took a moment for Jade to let out a sigh of relief but then she beamed at Bastila and breathed a thank you.

Carth told them where to find their equipment, seemingly oblivious to the tenderness between the women as he let his long-held anger at the admiral become his main focus once again.

Bastila and Jade walked to the armory together, gathering their things that had been neatly stowed in lockers, and started to dress and arm themselves. Bastila kept an eye on the soldier to make sure Jade wasn't still suffering, but soon found herself watching the way Jade's lithe form moved as she donned her armor.

The soldier looked up and caught her eye, grinning. "Like what you see, Princess?"

Bastila flushed and glanced away. "This is hardly the time," she muttered as she pulled her tunic over her head. Her muscles ached in protest, but she was grateful for the warmth and modesty the tunic provided.

Jade's face had sobered when Bastila finally worked up the courage to look at her again. "Yeah, I know it is. Sorry. I'm just… This isn't the most fun situation I've ever been in, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared." She looked at Bastila through a barely-restrained pout. "I thought joking around would help lighten the mood."

Bastila considered it for a moment as she clipped her lightsaber to her belt. She opened her mouth to respond, but Carth swore from the other room.

"You two decent?" he called as his footsteps came up to the door.

"What's going on?" Jade returned instantly.

Carth stepped into the armor cautiously and relaxed slightly when he saw the women were both fully armored and ready to go. "Canderous just radioed. He says the hangar's been locked down. If I remember right, we're gonna have to go up to the bridge to open it."

Jade frowned, then saw the look on the pilot's face and switched over to being calm and guiding. "I won't get in your way, but revenge won't make you feel better, Carth."

The pilot's scowl deepened. "We'll see. Let's go."

Carth had a remarkable mental map of the ship and led the trio through countless hallways. After battling their way through hordes of Sith, donning spacesuits for a walk outside the ship, and climbing a long ramped hallway, they were at the bridge.

Bastila and Jade exchanged an apprehensive look, both taking a moment to heal the group with the Force.

Carth only paused to activate an energy shield and take a few stims before charging in, and chaos exploded all around them.

Bastila found herself the target of multiple soldiers, many of whom seemed very skilled with their vibroblades. She was aware of Jade fighting across the room and glanced over to check on the former Sith. Jade was surrounded by soldiers and seemed barely able to keep up with all the blows coming her way. A sharp pain in Bastila's side distracted her from Jade and she yelped in spite of herself and twisted away from the Sith that had sliced through her tunic.

Twirling her lightsaber around, Bastila took the soldier by surprise and neatly cut him in two, deflecting other blows and blaster bolts. She knew she was bleeding, but the wound didn't feel fatally deep, so it could wait until the battle was over. Not even half a second later, a shockwave of Force energy came from Jade's side of the room.

Sith soldiers went flying, crashing into each other and into the metal walls of the ship. One heavily armored guard hit the window pane and cracked the glass, but the window didn't shatter.

Carth hardly paid attention, locked in deadly hand-to-hand combat with the admiral, but Bastila allowed herself a concerned glance across the room once more.

Jade looked much less overwhelmed and quickly cut down the few soldiers around her before charging over to help Bastila. Working together, they finished off the rest of the soldiers, leaving Carth to deal with the admiral. Jade turned to Bastila the moment the last soldier fell, her eyes alarmed.

"What happened? I felt-"

Bastila waved away Jade's concern, looking down to survey her injury. Blood was already staining her tunic and a tear in the fabric revealed the gash in her skin. It looked more severe than Bastila had expected, and she quickly brushed her fingers over the edges of the wound, starting to close the gash.

Jade followed the motion of Bastila's hand and swore under her breath, focusing her energy and aiding Bastila's healing process. It only took a few seconds for the gash to close and the skin, though still smeared with blood, looked like it had never been harmed at all.

The warm tingles of the healing still lingered in Bastila's skin and she resisted the urge to scratch at the freshly-healed tissue, offering Jade a grateful smile. The soldier scanned Bastila for any other injuries before seeming to melt with relief. The grin she shot at Bastila was warm and tender, and Bastila knew that if the situation had been any different, she would have been wrapped up in an embrace.

Part of her craved to be held securely against Jade the moment the thought crossed her mind, and she looked up at the woman she loved and wondered how she could have ever been afraid of her.

"What?!" Carth roared from across the bridge, startling both of the women out of their thoughts.

Bastila looked over and saw Carth kneeling over the dying admiral, uncertainty prickling at the back of her neck. The admiral let out a gurgling laugh and went still, and Carth got to his feet and scowled as he started toward Bastila.

"How could you?!" Carth growled, looking livid. "You knew the entire time, and you didn't bother to tell anyone!"

Bastila stood her ground as Carth stormed up to her, despite her stomach twisting with fear. "Carth, wait-"

"Back off, Onasi," Jade warned, stepping between them and grabbing Carth's shoulder.

Carth shoved Jade away. "Get away from me!"

The admiral must have known about Jade and told Carth. The secret was out. Bastila felt somewhat like throwing up. "Carth, I can explain everything. As soon as we get back to the ship, I'll tell you everything you want to know," she promised, "but we don't have time right now."

"Malak's coming," Jade supplied at Carth's furious confusion, glancing at Bastila uncertainly. "I'm sure Bastila's got her reasons, so don't let your anger get to you and wait until we're back to the Hawk and off this ship."

Carth looked like he wanted to rip Jade to pieces with his bare hands, but he glanced between the women and huffed. "Fine. Whatever. Let's just go."

"The hangar," Jade reminded him softly, and Carth pretended not to have heard her as he walked over to one of the computer terminals.

An alarm started sounding but he didn't seem concerned when he returned to his companions. "It's open. Let's go."

Jade kept giving Bastila curious looks as they hurried back through the Leviathan, but the Knight couldn't meet her gaze. Guilt and fear was overwhelming her and she could only imagine how Jade would react to her own past. Even though she was just following her orders from the Council, she doubted Jade would ever be able to understand, and the thought of losing her caused a hurt deep inside that nearly left Bastila breathless.

She followed behind Jade and Carth quietly, her mind racing with different ways to explain the giant secret she'd been bearing. None of the outcomes seemed particularly good, and Bastila wondered if Revan would return and the Council would have to intervene. It occurred to her a moment later that the Council was gone, obliterated by the Sith, and Coruscant was too far away to provide immediate aid.

If something happened and Jade needed to be stopped, Bastila realized that she would have to be the one to do it. Even the thought of raising her blade against the woman she loved terrified her, because Bastila knew she could never do it.

They stopped for a moment to let Carth administer a medpac to a blaster wound on his leg, and Bastila found herself studying Jade, wondering how she would ever be able to see Darth Revan in those green eyes that shone with affection for her.

Jade caught her eye and frowned slightly. "You all right, Bas?"

Bastila caught herself and nodded briskly, looking away again.

Jade sighed and touched Bastila's arm, waiting until the Knight lifted her gaze to meet hers. "Everything's gonna be okay," she promised softly, offering the brunette a gentle smile.

The words brought her more comfort than Bastila had expected and she let out a shaky breath before nodding.

Carth tossed the medpac aside and continued on, down into red hallways, and the women followed after him quickly, the moment between them lost.

Bastila's mind was still whirling when the door behind them slammed shut, but an overwhelmingly insidious presence swept through the ship. Jade gasped softly and looked at her, sharing a knowing nod with the Jedi.

"Malak's here," Jade explained to Carth quietly, looking unfazed when the pilot swore.

The trio hurried onward as cautiously as they could, but Bastila could feel destiny swelling up to meet them. A few minutes later, the door in front of them hissed open, and Darth Malak strode forward to meet them.

Bastila could feel the fear from her two companions and did her best to stand tall, hoping they would follow her example and not be seen as weak and easily disposable to the hulking Sith before them. When she saw the look Malak gave Jade, those thoughts left her mind and she was filled with dread.

Malak laughed, greeted Jade and taunted her about her past, seeming almost gleeful when he realized what the Council had done to Revan's memories. Bastila looked on in defeat and horror as Malak explained Jade's past, giving reason to the strange holes in Jade's memory, and showing why the Jedi had considered Jade such a special case.

Malak's yellowed eyes flicked to Bastila victoriously, a sneer on the parts of his face not concealed by the metal mouthpiece.

Jade was silent, trying to process all that she'd learned. Bastila could sense the disbelief and betrayal that Jade was feeling, hating that she was an accomplice to causing the hurt Jade felt. She could barely meet the soldier's gaze when Jade turned to look at her.

"... Is it true?" Jade asked softly, her tone devoid of emotion.

Bastila only hesitated for a moment before nodding. "I-yes, but Jade... The Council forbid me from telling you. They worried that if you knew, you-Revan would return. Without you on our side, they thought the Republic would fall." She risked a glance up at Jade, aching at the hurt in the soldier's eyes. "I wanted to tell you. I thought it would be better for you to know." Bastila considered trying to explain the Council's motivations, but Malak had done enough of that and the words were jumbled even in her mind. "I never wanted to hurt you, Jade. I'm... I'm so sorry."

Bastila couldn't quite remember the last time she had meant something so sincerely, and everything in her ached to see some sort of understanding in Jade's eyes.

Horrified anger flared through their bond, and Bastila knew that if the situation was any different, Jade would be pacing.  The soldier seemed to struggle to get herself under control, her desire to keep her friends out of harm managing to supersede her emotions.  It took a long time for Jade to sigh, and she stared at Bastila uncertainly. _I don't know what to think, Bas._

"The Council was using you, Revan," Malak growled. "They tried to silence you and steal your memories away."

"We were not-they-I wasn't!" Bastila stammered, realizing as she tried to defend the Council how twisted their logic seemed. "Jade, please. I wanted the best for you. Your... Revan's mind was damaged beyond repair; it's a wonder you even survived the attack. I promise, I've never tried to use you!" The Knight was nearly panicking, watching Jade's lack of reaction as she spoke. "My job was to guide you and protect you, even if it was from yourself. I didn't expect to..."  _Fall in love with you._  The words passed between them and the soldier's shoulders sagged slightly. "You're my best friend, Jade."

Malak scoffed. "Friends? Amongst the Jedi? The Jedi don't believe in close connections, Revan. Obviously more lies being spewed, trying to cloud your true feelings!"

Jade frowned at the interruption, and Bastila couldn't tell if there was a flicker of doubt in the soldier's eyes or not.

"Jade, please," Bastila murmured, wishing she had all the right words to say.

The soldier sighed and dropped her gaze to the floor for a moment before looking back up at Bastila.  _I'm going to want some answers when we get out of this, but I trust you._  The corner of her mouth lifted slightly, just enough to make the knot of tension in Bastila's chest loosen.

"I don't remember being Revan," Jade said, turning back to face Malak. "And I don't want to, either."

Malak scowled. "Open your mind, Revan. Can't you feel the dark side calling out to you? Can't you feel the power you once held?"

Jade was quiet. "I don't want it, Malak. I don't need it." She studied the huge Sith before her critically, then shook her head slightly. "You might feel like you do, but I don't. So you can quit trying to convert me."

Malak's eyes flashed. "Calling me weak, Revan? I can't believe the Jedi allowed you to grow a spine." He seemed furious and pulled his lightsaber out. "Very well. It's time to show you how 'weak' the Sith can be!"

With a wave of Malak's hand, Bastila found herself frozen in a stasis field, unable to move. Every cell in her body tried to break free of the restriction, terror flowing through her at the sound of crashing blades. Jade cried out as a flash of pain came through their bond, and Bastila struggled to break out of Malak's restraints.

Malak grunted and the fighting stopped. One of the doors surrounding them opened and closed again, and Bastila reached out with her senses for any sign of Jade.

The soldier was breathing heavily, but didn't seem to be mortally wounded. Bastila didn't allow herself to be relieved until Jade stepped into her line of vision and she could see her with her own eyes.

Jade looked torn between alarm and excitement, apparently having realized that she and Malak were more evenly matched than she'd expected. She gave Bastila a hopeful grin and started off after Malak, readiness for battle rolling off her.

The door closed behind the soldier with a chilling finality and Bastila realized the danger Jade was in. Malak's hold on her weakened and she broke out of the stasis and stumbled as she tried to regain her balance. Her hand went to her lightsaber hilt and she took off after Jade, ready to help defeat Malak once and for all.

Get to Jade. The words repeated in her mind, drowning out her own pounding pulse. She ran through door after door, finding some that were locked and having to backtrack. A burst of alarm passed through their bond, clouded by the dark aura of Malak, and Bastila wheeled around, trying the door in front of her.

It slid open just as Malak raised his blade, towering over Jade at the other end of the room.

"No!" Bastila's cry was sharp and she flung her lightsaber toward the Sith leader, her thumb flicking over the ignition switch as it left her hand. The golden blades burst to life as the weapon soared through the air, and Bastila ignored the surge of victory in her chest when Malak was distracted and had to defend himself rather than attack Jade.

Jade looked stunned before fear took over her face. "Bastila!"

Malak snarled and charged toward the Knight, obviously furious at being interrupted.

"Jade, run! Get out of here!" Bastila ordered as she called her lightsaber back into her hand. "I'll hold him off; you go find the Star Forge!" Adrenaline flooded her senses as Malak came at her, red blade whirling, and she raised her lightsaber to block his blows.

Jade looked horrified. "No! Bastila, no!"

Bastila dodged one of Malak's blows and directed her gaze to Jade. She tried her best to smile and let her words trickle through their bond instead.  _I love you, Jade. Go._

The soldier looked stricken, and Bastila sealed a door between them with the Force before receiving a stunning blow with Malak's lightsaber hilt. She went reeling and he shoved her to the floor with the Force, shocking her with Force Lightning and sapping her energy away slowly. When he tired of that, Malak kept her pinned down until Sith soldiers came and handcuffed her.

Bastila struggled to stay conscious, aware of the metallic taste of blood in her mouth as she was haphazardly shoved into a cell. She could still faintly sense Jade, and a smile crossed her face. The woman she loved was safe.

Confusion and anguish still trickled through their bond, and Bastila wished she could do something to ease the emotions. She rolled over and tried to catch her breath, closing her eyes and focusing on Jade.

 _Good luck,_  she whispered through their bond, hoping that Jade heard before the Ebon Hawk jumped to hyperspace.

She lay there for a few moments, trying to ignore the fear rising in her own chest. Malak obviously had other plans for her, since he hadn't killed her yet, and she didn't want to think about what those plans would be.

 _I'm going to save you, Bas,_  Jade's voice promised in her ears, faint because of the distance. The determination in Jade's mind was clear, though, and Bastila allowed herself a trusting smile before closing her eyes and letting herself succumb to unconsciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

Bastila did not enjoy being alone. She had grown up relatively isolated by her peers, but there were always people around the Enclave. Hidden away in a dank cell on a planet she had never seen before, Bastila was completely alone. Jade was thousands of light years away, the distance between them severely weakening their bond. Whatever mental connection that was left was drowned out by the dark side that was wrapped around her prison like a shroud. After months of having the constant trickle of Jade's mind in her own brain, the silence was unnerving.

Malak had thrown her into a cell and apparently ordered everyone to forget about her; Bastila had gone for days without food and water, and it was beginning to take its toll on her. Focusing and holding out hope were becoming harder and harder for her to manage, and she often found herself curled up in a corner shaking and trying her best to meditate. When that didn't work, she imagined Jade bursting in and rescuing her, scoffing a little at the thought. Their first real interaction had been an argument about whether or not Jade had saved her, and now that was exactly what Bastila was hoping for.

She lost track of time soon after being imprisoned, but knew Malak would not let her die in isolation; he'd tracked her too far and too relentlessly to give her up that easily. The Sith proved her right just as her body was beginning to give out; Dark Jedi came and forced her out of her cell, leading her into a long, echoing chamber. Her heart dropped as they rounded a corner and came toward a large slab of rock with obvious restraints for her wrists and ankles.

Bastila didn't have the energy to fight as she was cuffed to the slab, unable to do anything but listen as the Dark Jedi left and the echoes of their footsteps faded into nothing. She tried to distract herself from the fear building inside her by testing her restraints, cringing when the cold metal bit into her skin.

The silence around her was only making her fear grow more quickly, and Bastila wondered, not for the first time, how Jade was taking the news of her true past. She ached to be with the soldier and explain what she knew to ease Jade's inevitable confusion, but before she could envision the quiet, pensive look the soldier was sure to be wearing, Malak entered the room.

His footsteps rang out through the room, getting louder as he approached. The mere sound caused Bastila's pulse to skyrocket and she tried to swallow and find something pleasant to focus on.

The Sith came toward her, his eyes narrowing in a cold sneer as he leaned over her to inspect her. "I see you haven't let your surroundings break you yet, Bastila. Good. I was hoping to have that honor for myself."

Bastila chose not to say anything, not giving him the satisfaction of a response.

Malak didn't seem to mind, delivering a rough backhand to her jaw. "Yes, my dear Bastila. Soon, I will have you begging for mercy. I alone will break you and bend you to my will." A twisted delight flashed in the Sith Lord's eyes and he laughed. "You're strong, for a Jedi. You'll make a fine apprentice, don't you think?"

This time, Bastila's lack of a response irritated the man and he raised his hand, lightning shooting from his fingertips into the Knight.

Her body lurched against the pain, the cuffs around her wrists cutting into her skin. She fought against the reflex to cry out, proud of herself for remaining silent when the torture finally ended. Her head fell back against the stone and she tried to catch her breath before Malak started in on her again.

"You may think your silence will let you hold out against me, but it won't." Malak leaned in close, his face looming inches from hers. "I will break you."

Bastila stared back at him defiantly, despite her insides quaking with fear. Her heart sank when the Sith straightened up and laughed.

"I can taste your fear, Bastila. Let it give you strength," he goaded, growling in frustration when Bastila said nothing. "I see you intend to make this a game. Very well," he said with a chuckle, stepping back and lifting his hands into the air. "My move." Electricity crackled from his hands and he laughed before turning the attack on Bastila, taking great pleasure in pushing her to the brink of unconsciousness before easing his torture.

Bastila refused to listen to his taunts, doing what she could to steel herself against the next onslaught before it arrived. Her body was exhausted, and she felt so weak... The next attack sapped what little of her energy remained with a searing ache in her chest, and then everything went mercifully dark.

 

=====:=====

The Knight woke slowly, unsurprised to be back in her cell. Her entire body was aching and her muscles felt limp and sore. Bastila laid there on the cool stone floor and tried to go back to sleep, but found she was in too much pain to do so. Grudgingly, she tested her muscles and sat up shakily, leaning heavily on her hands. Her elbows shook under her weight, and Bastila moaned softly.

When she finally got the strength to look around the room, she noticed something new by the door. A small plate filled with some grayish gruel and a clay cup were there on the floor. She crawled toward it and examined it carefully, trying to detect any sort of poison, but the gruel on the plate and the water in the cup seemed fine. She lifted the cup to her lips and hesitated long enough to hope the meager meal wasn't a trap.

Bastila hadn't realized how dry her throat was until she swallowed her first mouthful of water and she nearly choked on it, trying to swallow more. The cup was small, though, and she knew better than to waste it just yet. Instead she picked at the gruel and took a careful taste, finding it bland and thick, but edible. The portion size was hardly enough to satisfy the ache in her stomach, but anything would help, so she ate and drank what she'd been given before retreating back to her corner.

Her thoughts went to Jade once again, focusing on all the details she loved about the soldier but hadn't ever really admitted to herself. Thoughts of the crooked grin and the strong, rough hands helped her bide the time until she was able to fall asleep once more.

The pattern continued, settling into a torture session where Malak tried his best to break her will. Each time, she could feel her body breaking down further, and idly wondered how much longer she would survive. She refused to give into his taunts about the dark side, but had finally been unable to keep the moans of agony silenced. Malak took great joy in ripping them from her throat, pushing her beyond her limits until she was sure she was on the brink of death.

Bastila always woke up back in her chamber, though, sometimes with small portions of gruel and water if Malak was feeling generous. Her hunger was never satisfied, and every time she woke up, she felt weaker and the cell seemed colder. Her hopes for survival were growing dim and she wished she could have Jade's warm arms around her.

Malak's servants came and retrieved her one day, but when she was brought to the long room with the slab, she wasn't restrained against it.

The Sith Lord was there waiting for her, motioning for his guards to leave as soon as Bastila was deposited in front of him. She dragged herself to her feet unsteadily, having landed hard on her knees, and gave the hulking Sith as defiant a look as she could muster.

"I have a test for you, dear Bastila," Malak announced, swishing his cloak as he stepped aside and revealed a handcuffed initiate on his knees.

Bastila looked at the hollow-eyed young man, somewhat disheartened at the sight. He looked deranged, his breath coming in quick pants and his eyes flicking around the room quickly.

"I know you are weak," Malak told her, gesturing toward the initiate. "But this... This can be your strength."

The initiate jerked and twisted away from the words, only to be shocked with Malak's Force Lightning. He sagged slightly, gasping for breath as he studied Bastila uneasily.

"This whelp is of no use to anyone," Malak murmured, lifting a hand to hold the initiate still. "Use his energy for yourself. Let his life's end be your strength."

Bastila had a refusal on the tip of her tongue, but the exhaustion gnawing at her made her pause. The Council had never described what it was like, siphoning energy from someone else, only preached against it. If she was honest with herself, she'd always been morbidly curious about how it would feel. Besides, part of her reasoned, if she did what Malak wanted, just this once, maybe he wouldn't hurt her today.

Bastila reached out with the Force, feeling for the edges of the initiate's aura. The initiate panted before her, a wild look in his eyes. She ignored him, gently caressing his aura with her own, well aware of how vulnerable he was and how easy it would be to drink up his energy.

Malak said nothing, merely holding the initiate in place with the Force and watching Bastila.

 _Just once would be forgivable_ , Bastila reasoned with herself, _to keep up my strength until Jade can find the Star Forge._ Even though part of her mind was already arguing with that logic, she could feel the weakness of her body. If she had to endure much more of Malak's abuse, her body was going to give out and she would die. A vague thought of her bond with Jade crossed her mind; if she were to die, would Jade die as well? Their whole mission would have been for nothing, and Malak would decimate everyone in his path. She couldn't allow that to happen.

 _Just once,_ she promised, closing her eyes and hesitantly drawing his energy toward her. It was bright and powerful where her own was dull and nearly lifeless, and Bastila carefully sapped the initiate's power. A surge of warmth flooded her mind, startling her so much that she stopped drawing energy from the initiate. The warmth lingered for a moment before fading, and Bastila tested the gentle siphoning again, pleased to feel the same rush. She opened her senses, pulling more and more of the initiate's energy into herself, nearly overwhelmed by the rush of life back into her veins.

The initiate gurgled in front of her, and she heard a distant thud as he collapsed to the ground lifelessly. Her body felt somewhat like it was buzzing, warmth and energy spreading to the tips of her fingers. When she opened her eyes, she felt more steady on her feet and couldn't stop a contented sigh from escaping her.

The sight of the corpse before her made her pause, and she studied the body and compared it to the rush of energy in her body, trying to sense the remains of the initiate within her. There was a flicker of anger, which faded a moment later, leaving Bastila feeling stronger and more alive than she had in days.

Malak was studying her, his eyes glinting with something akin to victory. "Well done," he commended her, nodding a few times. "You could make a worthy apprentice after all."

Bastila scoffed inwardly, but watched her captor for any sign of an attack. Malak didn't say anything, waving at the guards to take her away again.

Back in her cell, she studied the deeply revitalizing sensation of the new energy within her. A small part of her was horrified at what she had done, but the rest of her was already resigned to the situation. Survival was key, primal as it was, and only giving in once would be enough to wait out Jade's inevitable victory over Darth Malak.

 

=====:=====

Malak let her go without food and water for days, and didn't bring her out to the torture chamber. Bastila refused to beg, though she was sure no one would hear her anyway. Her stomach felt like it might collapse in on itself and her limbs felt like dead weight. Part of her craved the rush of life she'd gotten from draining the initiate, wishing to feel alive. It seemed like an eternity since she had been free and traveling across the galaxy on the Ebon Hawk. Trapped in her cell and wasting away, Bastila felt like she was simply waiting to die.

The thought was depressing, and she tried to meditate and ignore the workings of her mind, but the darkness around her was so strong she couldn't allow herself to relax for fear of it swallowing her up.

Two stony-faced Dark Jedi came and woke her just as she had started to doze off, cuffing her hands behind her back and shoving a neural disruptor on her head. The prison block went fuzzy and her thoughts were scrambled as they hauled her to the torture chamber.

When they arrived, Malak was already waiting impatiently. The neural disruptor was pulled off of her and the cuffs removed. Bastila swayed slightly but managed to stay on her feet, giving the Sith a cold stare.

Malak chuckled at the look on her face and shook his head. "Are you hungry?" he taunted, watching for a reaction. "Have you tired of your cell yet?"

The Knight lifted her chin slightly, trying to ignore him.

Malak moved closer to her, circling around her and studying her quietly. "You are weak," he spat, his eyes narrowing at her. "And you only grow weaker. But..." The man glanced behind Bastila pointedly, where the initiates stood waiting to return Bastila to confinement. "You don't have to be."

Bastila was quiet, pretending she hadn't heard, but the initiates did. There was a burst of fear from them, sharp and cold in the still air of the chamber. The initiates tried to escape, but Malak extended his hand and the door slammed shut. The terror from the trapped initiates spiked and Malak's eyes gleamed.

"Use them," he coaxed, his bionic voice hissing in her ear. "Let their fear make you stronger."

Bastila ignored him, sent reeling a moment later when Malak flung her into the air with the Force. She collided with the wall and fell to the floor in a heap, trying to maintain consciousness. A split second later, Malak's power swarmed around her once again, lifting her into the air and crushing her slowly.

"Break free," Malak ordered, watching as Bastila moaned and struggled weakly. When she didn't respond, he shocked her with Force Lightning. "Break free or I will kill you, and your precious Revan will be left to find your corpse waiting for her on the Star Forge!"

The intense pressure on her skull nearly made her cry out, and she could feel herself suffocating as the air was squeezed out of her lungs. The mention of Jade and the image of the soldier finding her body only added to the pain she felt.

The initiates were cheering in the background, egging Malak on, and anger burst in Bastila's chest. She was not Malak's plaything, not a spectacle to be observed. Her body was weak, too weak to fight, but she struggled against the invisible bonds anyway.

Malak snarled and clenched his fists, squeezing tighter against her. The pain only worsened, and Bastila gave in to her instincts before the attack could kill her.

The auras of the initiates were still tinged with fear, which made them easy to pick out in the large room. Bastila latched onto their energies, extending her senses and wresting their power from them. She was vaguely aware of snarling as the initiates put up a fight, but they were weak and there was raw need behind Bastila's actions.

With a forceful yell, she ripped their energy from their bodies, pulling it into her own. Once again, a rush of warmth and power flowed through her, and Bastila sent out a burst of Force energy, disrupting Malak's hold on her. She fell to the ground, landing on her feet as gracefully as she could, well aware of the searing heat of life in her veins.

She stood and faced Malak furiously, the anger of the initiates pumping within her and only magnifying her own rage. Anger toward Malak for forcing her to attack the initiates just to survive flooded her mind, and she barely held onto her common sense. Rather than attack him like she wanted to, Bastila stayed still, trying to balance her own anger with that of the people she'd just drained. After a moment, it was obvious that fighting the emotions in her body was futile, and she remembered Jade's advice and allowed herself to feel.

Bastila hated the Sith before her and wanted to kill him with her bare hands, even though she knew she didn't stand a chance. Her hands were shaking and she curled them into fists, watching as Malak started laughing.

"Congratulations, Bastila," the man said, applauding her and gesturing to the corpses behind her. "Perhaps you are not so weak, after all. The dark side has many strengths, and tapping into them is the only way to survive."

Bastila didn't listen as he continued preaching the benefits of the dark side, wondering instead how best to get her revenge. It occurred to her with startling clarity a moment later: by acting as his apprentice, she could learn his weaknesses and use what she found against him. If she timed it right, she could wait until Jade was ready to attack Malak as well, and they could take him down together.

Her plan was perfect, and Bastila took a deep breath, ready to play her part. She drew from the dark energy swirling around her, finding strength in it, and waited for Malak to pause before bowing. "I will serve you, Lord Malak," she swore, dipping her head respectfully.

The hiss of a lightsaber startled her but she didn't move, hearing the blade humming just above her head.

Malak studied her for a moment, seeming pleased at her self-control. "Very good. You have much to learn, my apprentice."

They left the torture chamber, stepping over the bodies of the initiates carelessly as Malak led her off through the temple.


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as Malak was sure of her allegiance, he presented her with a great feast and allowed her to eat as much as she wanted. Bastila was cautious at first, wary of a trap, but finally relaxed enough to fill her plate and devour the food. She ate slowly, not wanting to become sick at the presence of real food, and Malak seemed impressed at her restraint.

Eager to find his weaknesses, Bastila flung herself into her training, gleaning everything she could from her new Master. When he brought her apprentices to spar with, she disarmed and disposed of them with ease, somewhat proud of herself for how powerful she was compared to her opponents. The draining of their energies was like a drug to her; Bastila couldn't get enough of the overwhelming power she felt after drinking in the people she defeated.

Malak took her to the Star Forge a few weeks into her training, coaching her to feel the Force swirling in the station and to learn to use it as her own power. The strength the station gave her was more than she could comprehend and Bastila was suddenly furious with the Council for hiding so much from her. Their view on what was proper was only a small fraction of what was possible, and Bastila was sure that if they tapped into the pure power of the Force, they could have stopped the Sith millennia ago.

Much to her delight, Bastila found herself growing stronger and more skilled with the Force and her lightsaber. The power she held was enough for her to best all the Dark Jedi Malak pitted her against. She became feared and respected on the station, and for the first time in her life, allowed herself to be proud of the strength she possessed.

Keeping Malak happy was a struggle, but Bastila knew that to defeat him, she'd have to stay in his good graces so she could learn from him. When Malak said to destroy something, she demolished it, and when Malak ordered her to kill a misbehaving officer, she did so with relish.

It was an honor to be given a task Malak needed completed, and Bastila did everything in her power to be the most efficient at anything her Master needed done. The more she did for him, the more she learned, and the more she learned about Malak, the clearer her plan to overthrow him became.

When Malak sent for her, Bastila went to his factory room as quickly as she could.

The Sith was staring out of the window of the factory when she arrived, gazing at the large fleet and the blue planet rotating slowly beneath them. "I have a mission for you, Bastila."

Bastila clasped her hands behind her back and stood waiting for her assignment. "What is it you desire, Master?"

Malak was quiet for a moment and Bastila could feel his mind scanning her own before his attention went to the planet below them. "It seems this ancient world has attracted a visitor. Return to the temple and destroy them."

The brunette bowed deeply. "Yes, Master. Will I be provided a ship?"

Darth Malak nodded once. "The hangar on Deck One is waiting for you. Go now, before our uninvited guest becomes... a problem."

Bastila bowed once more and left the room, unable to keep from holding her head a little higher. Malak had chosen her, rather than go down and take care of the intruder himself. If he considered her that strong, then maybe her opportunity to take him down was closer than she thought.

=====:=====

The G-wing the Sith had provided for her was light and fast, with incredibly sensitive controls. It reminded Bastila of the swoop bike she and Jade had ridden on Tatooine, and she brushed away the longing she felt. Her mission was to destroy the intruders and then to return to the Star Forge to kill Malak. There would be time to reunite with Jade later.

Bastila returned to the temple that had been her prison, laying in wait on the roof. The Force was strong on this planet and she meditated quietly, keeping her senses open for any sign of an intruder.

She wasn't disappointed; soon after she'd arrived, she heard the far off scrape of a stone door and the echoes of footsteps from inside the temple. Bastila smiled to herself and got to her feet, walking toward the temple door. She barely made it halfway across the roof before Jade stepped out into the sunlight, Jolee right behind her.

The soldier paused, seeming stunned, and Bastila did her best to ignore the way her heart leapt at the sight of Jade.

"Revan," she called, the soldier's old name falling from her lips due to Malak's constant use of it. "I don't know why I didn't expect the intruder to be you."

Jade took a few reluctant steps toward her, leaving Jolee behind her. "Bastila?" she managed, her voice hesitant and shaking.

The brunette dipped her head in a nod. "Yes, Jade, it's me."

The soldier looked dumbfounded and agonized all at the same time. Her disbelief trickled through their bond, which seemed to be active once again thanks to their proximity. "Bas... I-you're..."

Bastila chuckled. "Much has changed since we last saw each other," she informed Jade, holding her arms out and clenching her fists, crushing two of the ancient statues adorning the roof into dust. She saw Jolee start toward them and quickly erected a barrier with the Force, blocking the old man inside the temple.

"You fell." Jade's voice was almost completely numb, but the accusation in her tone was sharp and clear.

"I opened my mind," Bastila countered hotly, immediately on the defensive. A scowl grew on her face and she all but snarled at the soldier. "My Master had to... convince me to see more clearly, but now I am more powerful than I ever was."

"Convince you?" Jade echoed, frowning and moving closer to the younger woman. Her eyes roamed over Bastila's face and flashed with anger when she spotted fading bruises and scars. "What the hell, Bastila?! What did he do to you?"

Bastila scoffed and stepped away, giving the soldier a furious look. Jade supposedly loved her; why wasn't she congratulating her and being pleased with how strong Bastila had become? Betrayal flared up in Bastila's chest and she allowed Jade a glimpse of the hurt in her mind. "He taught me to be strong! He taught me to survive, Revan. I've opened my mind to the full power of the Force, not just the stunted views of the Jedi! I would have died if Malak hadn't shown me how to survive," Bastila snapped, pleased to see and feel the ache that passed through Jade. "And now I am stronger than I ever was as a Jedi! Strong enough to kill Malak and rid the Sith of him forever."

"He'll kill you first," Jade retorted, looking sick at the thought. "Force, Bastila, he's going to... He'll kill you."

Bastila scoffed. "Malak will never see it coming. I'm his loyal apprentice, and he trusts me enough to send me to defend this temple. I have the element of surprise and I can destroy the Sith from the inside!"

The soldier seemed on the verge of tears. "He knows already, Bastila. I know he does. You're playing right into his hand."

Her plan was a secret that only she knew; there was no way that Malak could know. "Malak trusts me," she repeated. "If he didn't, he wouldn't have sent me to kill you."

Jade didn't seem as stunned as Bastila had hoped, and simply shook her head. "He's using you, Bastila. Can't you see that? He's using you to get to me."

The brunette wondered when Jade had gotten so stubborn, though a vague doubt had been raised in her mind. She pushed it away and pulled out her lightsaber, igniting the blade and sneering at Jade. "Once I defeat you, I'll be ready to overthrow Malak. I wanted to help our mission," she added, gesturing between herself and Jade with her glowing blade, "but I see that you're not willing to listen to reason. My plan will move forward with or without you, even if I actually regret having to strike you down."

Jade looked heartbroken as she pulled out her lightsaber to defend herself. "I'm going to save you, Bastila," she promised, echoing her own words from what felt like a lifetime ago. "I love you too much to let you do this to yourself."

Bastila scoffed again. "You talk of love, but you refuse to listen and understand. How you can be so convinced that Malak is 'using' me when I've told you it's all part of my plan is beyond me. If you won't listen, there's no point in talking." She flashed Jade a cold smile. "Let's make this quick."

The soldier didn't have time to respond before Bastila was jumping at her with her lightsaber blade swinging toward her. Jade barely blocked the attack in time, and Bastila sent a flurry of blows toward the older woman, determined to land a damaging strike.

Jade seemed disturbed at first, but fell into a defensive stance and managed to hold her ground. Every attack Bastila tried to throw at her, Jade deflected neatly. Bastila cursed herself for spending so much time sparring with the soldier; Jade knew her fighting style and could counter it easily.

Jade watched Bastila while they fought, her face growing sadder with each blow. "I'm sorry, Bastila," she said, cringing away from a shower of sparks as their blades clashed. "I didn't want-I should have fought harder. I let you down."

Bastila laughed. "Let me down? No, Revan, you gave me an opportunity."

"For what?!" Jade shot back angrily. "To be some coward's puppet? To be pushed so far you lose sight of everything you used to be?" Her eyes flashed and she sent Bastila stumbling backward with a rush of the Force. "How much pain and suffering did he put you through?" she asked darkly, "because I know you, Bas. You're strong and intelligent, and stubborn enough that you won't give up on anything. Whatever Malak did to you..."

"What I felt is irrelevant now," Bastila retorted, scowling at the simple Force attack that had knocked her off balance. It was one more thing to work on before she overthrew Malak and she filed the thought away for later. "It was only a chance to introduce me to the power I was refusing to use."

"This isn't you, Bastila." Jade shook her head and hurt flickered through their bond. "I don't know what Malak did to you, but I'm going to save you."

"I do not need saving!" Bastila snarled as she jumped back toward Jade. Their blades met with a crash and Bastila threw all her best attacks at the soldier, trying to find a hole in her defenses. Jade continued to deflect the blows, ducking away from attacks that she couldn't block with her lightsaber, and Bastila found herself growing more and more frustrated. After all the training she had done, she was going to be bested by the weakened shell of Revan.

Bastila leapt high into the air, flipping over Jade's head and landing behind her, trying for a quick strike from behind, but her red blade clashed with Jade's blue one once more, and she let out a yell of aggravation. Bastila lashed out with the Force and pulled loose stones out of the temple walls, sending them hurtling toward the soldier.

Jade swore and ducked, catching the blocks with her own Force energy and flinging them over the temple walls where they crashed into the ocean. "I don't want to hurt you, Bastila," she pleaded, wiping sweat off her brow. "Come with me, away from here. Away from Malak and all this dark energy, somewhere where I can help you. It kills me seeing you like this, Bas," the soldier admitted. "I love you and I'll do whatever it takes to help you and save you, I promise."

Bastila cursed herself for pausing for the briefest moment, snarling instead to cover the doubt in her mind. Fighting Jade was hopeless; they knew each other's attacks too well. Her plan needed to change, and after a moment of thinking, a new solution presented itself. She would wait and let Jade's attack weaken Malak before destroying her Master.

"Please, Bastila. I just... I want to make up for letting you down."

The gentle tone of the soldier's voice nudged at something deep inside Bastila's mind, and she wondered idly if Jade would ever be able to hold her close again after everything she had been through and everything she had done. The thoughts were disconcerting and Bastila shook her head sharply. "You aren't worth my time," she snapped, well aware of the ache that the words brought the soldier. "My Master will deal with you, and then I with him!" She scowled at Jade once more and ran back to her ship, starting it up and taking off for the Star Forge. She wasn't sure what she was going to tell Malak, only knowing that she had much more training to cram into the last few hours before Jade arrived on the Star Forge.

=====:=====

Malak had not been pleased to find out that Jade was still alive, but seemed to have expected the outcome and didn't punish Bastila. Instead, he ordered her to stay in the command center, watching the map for the first signs of Republic warships. As soon as she spotted something, Bastila was to start using her Battle Meditation to bolster the Sith forces so they could easily destroy the entire Republic fleet.

The waiting was tedious, and Bastila found herself distracted by thoughts of her encounter with Jade. Ever since she'd returned to the Star Forge, the soldier's words had lingered in her mind. It was true, Malak had tortured her, but the end result was better, wasn't it? Malak wouldn't have trained her to be so strong if he was using her as a puppet.

She gave the map another glance, frowning to herself. The command center was the only way to get to Malak's lair, and it was obvious that Jade would be passing through the room to get to Malak. The soldier's comment about Malak using Bastila to get to her rang in Bastila's ears once again and she paused to consider the words.

Malak was perfectly capable of going down to the temple himself. If he hadn't been using Bastila's encounter with Jade as a test for Bastila, there weren't many other options. Either Malak had been afraid to go himself and was trying to get Bastila killed to she wouldn't overthrow him, or Jade was right. The first thought infuriated the brunette and she had half a mind to charge into Malak's factory room and attack him. But Jade had mentioned that, too, she remembered, and Bastila huffed with frustration.

It was altogether possible that Malak had sculpted Bastila into the apprentice she was now simply to affect Jade; part of what he'd taught Bastila included striking at the will of an opponent. A way to guarantee victory was to cripple the things nearest to the opponent, breaking their resolve and causing mental anguish. Malak had said that that was the most dangerous weapon; not even the best lightsaber duelist would be able to withstand an attack on what they held dear.

The thought was stunning to the fallen Knight. By turning Bastila to his side, Malak had attempted to break Jade, and the memories of Jade's anguish during their duel came back to her. Malak's plan had been enacted the moment Bastila left to defend the temple.

Bastila stared at the map without really seeing it. Malak was afraid, she realized slowly. The thought that Jade was coming for him had the Sith worried, and he'd sent Bastila as a diversion. He was still using her as a plaything, twisting her around to attack his own enemy. Fury burst in her brain and she wanted nothing more than to exact her revenge slowly and painfully, making Malak suffer all that he had put her through and more.

A small dot zipping toward the Star Forge caught her attention and Bastila watched it approach, letting her anger pulse through her. There was no doubt in her mind that the speck was the Ebon Hawk, and she knew it wouldn't be long until Jade arrived in the command center.

On the edges of the map new shapes took form, moving steadily toward the Star Forge. The Republic was on their way. Bastila turned away from the map and started pacing, refusing to use her power to aid the Sith. Two could play at Malak's game. The Star Forge would be destroyed under a flurry of blaster fire, taking away Malak's most treasured possession and destroying him at the same time.

It was beautifully simple and Bastila allowed herself a dark smile. There was only one loose end: Jade.

Bastila was still furious, partially at Jade for being right, and partially at herself for being so blind to what Malak was planning. She had thought she was being strong and planning a brilliant upheaval, only to have herself fall into the trap that had been set for her. If she had only held out longer...

 _Pathetic_ , she groused, hating herself for giving in so easily. The Sith would never accept her as one of their own, not that she felt any allegiance to them. The Jedi, however, could react very differently. Thoughts of a trial and sentences of execution filled her mind and Bastila felt something in her chest constrict.

She had failed everyone. Jade, the Jedi, her friends on the Ebon Hawk, and even her mother. All those people had wanted the best for her, and she had let them down.

Her emotions were running at a fever-pitch, and she turned back to the screen and flung her lightsaber toward it. The glass pane sparked and shattered, and Bastila threw her hands into the air and wrenched the Force energy in the room toward herself. The command center shook and the metal walls groaned under the strain, and Bastila let out a yell as she released the energy in a rush.

She was only vaguely aware of tears streaming down her cheeks as she lay waste to the room around her, lashing out with the Force and channeling more energy than she knew her body could withstand. She needed to feel something other than defeat and self-loathing, even if that something was strong enough to destroy her.

Behind her, the door hissed open. Bastila wheeled around and saw an alarmed Jade, choking out a snarl between sobs as she pulled her lightsaber into her hand. She sealed the door behind Jade with a wave of her hand, blocking Carth and Canderous from entering the room. Without even thinking, Bastila launched herself at the soldier, her red blade shooting out of the lightsaber hilt as she raised it to strike.

Jade sidestepped the attack and pulled her lightsaber out, blocking Bastila's next blow and pressing her blade against the brunette's. Her eyes searched Bastila's face and she seemed about to say something when Bastila nicked her arm with the tip of her lightsaber. The soldier grunted and twisted away, stopping to survey the wound for a moment.

Bastila prowled around the older woman, her mind spinning and her chest tight with self-loathing. If anyone could break through her defenses and put her out of her misery, it was Jade, and while Bastila didn't want to die, she knew she wouldn't mind it as much if she died by Jade's hand. The soldier loved her and wouldn't let her suffer. The moment Jade's eyes returned to her, Bastila pounced again, recklessly swinging her lightsaber and waiting for a strike to kill her.

Jade deflected the blows masterfully, making no move to return the attacks. Her eyes were concerned and Bastila hated the pity she saw in them.

The brunette raised her lightsaber to bring down toward Jade's head, but was stopped when Jade's fingers closed around her wrist. Jade stared at Bastila, panting slightly in the sudden quiet. "Bas..."

Bastila ripped her arm out of the soldier's grasp, backing away. "You are wasting your time," she spat. "Strike me down and go find Malak."

Jade frowned slightly. "It feels like you're about to come apart," she retorted. "Do you seriously expect me to ignore that?"

Bastila dried her eyes on her sleeve, becoming aware of her hands shaking.

"What's going on in your head?" Jade prodded gently, lowering her lightsaber.

The fallen Knight could sense the solid, calming aura of the soldier and wanted desperately to reach out and let it envelop her, but resisted. She was not worth Jade's time and energy. Bastila pointed her lightsaber at the soldier and tried her best to ignore her riotous emotions. When that didn't work, she picked the strongest one and let that fuel her.

"You were right," Bastila hissed, motioning toward Malak's chamber with a broad sweep of her hand. Debris from her earlier rampage went flying into the wall and Jade frowned. "Malak must have known all along. I was a thing to be used, and now that I've failed him, I'm not worth anything. I can't-"

"You're worth everything," Jade cut in, her face angry. "Don't even think that you're not."

"Am I?" Bastila laughed bitterly. "You promised to save me, and you never came. I lay there every night waiting for you to arrive, but you didn't."

Shame flickered on Jade's face but her frown stayed firmly in place. "Did you think I'd abandon you? I did everything I could to find you, Bastila. Just ask Carth or Mission or anyone else back on the Hawk." She stopped and wet her lips before speaking again. "Bastila, I love you. I'm not going to abandon you or give up on you, and I'm sure as hell not gonna kill you."

Bastila felt somewhat like crying, knowing that Jade could never understand. "You have to. Malak's waiting, and I… I can't. I've failed everyone, Jade, can't you see that?"

"I only see you, Bastila," the soldier returned gently. "You're lost and hurting, but I still… I can feel you." She stepped closer, Bastila's lightsaber blade inches from her chest. Jade's eyes locked with Bastila's and she raised her eyebrows slightly. "Let me in, Bas," she murmured, "let me help."

Bastila paused, her hands shaking. Everything rushing through her head was trying to drown out the warmth of the soldier's presence, but Jade's presence was still there, faint but caring. All her own worthlessness came crashing down on Bastila's shoulders and she was tempted to fall on her own lightsaber.

"Don't," Jade said quickly, pulling Bastila out of her thoughts. There was slight panic in her eyes, enough to show that she'd been able to sense the urge that had run through Bastila's mind. "Bastila, that's the dark side. You don't have to listen to it. You're stronger than it is, I know you are."

Bastila considered the words, wondering how strong she really was if she'd given in to the dark side in the first place. "I had to," she mumbled, trying to justify her fall to both herself and the soldier in front of her. "I couldn't…"

Jade nodded and extinguished her own lightsaber, raising her empty hands slowly. "It's okay, I understand. You're past it now. You don't need it anymore, Bas. Let it go."

The brunette looked at Jade's empty hands. "I could kill you," she pointed out, lifting her lightsaber slowly and watching the red blade burn near Jade's throat.

"You won't." Jade sounded sure of her words, and she offered Bastila a gentle smile.

"You're a fool." Bastila studied her own lightsaber, well aware of how easy it would be to kill her. She could just barely twitch her wrist, and Jade would be no more. Malak would be pleased and she might be spared any punishment for her earlier failure. Part of her scoffed; Jade was right, and Malak would simply kill her. With the fateful battle between Jade and Malak fast approaching, Bastila had served her purpose. She was of no use to anyone anymore.

"I don't believe that same woman that sacrificed herself to save me is going to kill me." The corner of Jade's mouth lifted in a smile. "I trust you, Bastila."

Bastila wanted to retort and tell the soldier just how unworthy of her trust she was, but she took one look at the affection in Jade's eyes and something in her chest crumpled. She backed away from the soldier, her emotions threatening to swallow her up once again. Her anger and hurt swelled up inside her, almost suffocating in their intensity.

Bastila nearly slipped on the shards of glass on the floor, barely managing to catch herself before Jade's hands were on her arms to steady her. Bastila tried to pull away and the soldier released her instantly, giving the younger woman space.

"Let it go," Jade urged quietly. "It's okay."

Bastila shook her head, wishing everything inside her would stop whirling. She ached to be calm and feel at peace, but the only escape from the darkness felt like death. "I can't go back. Not after this."

Jade blinked before understanding appeared in her eyes. "The Jedi know how to forgive, Bastila. They forgave me, didn't they?"

"You can't remember the dark side," the brunette protested weakly. "I can. How can I possibly go back knowing what I've done?"

Jade regarded the woman before her for a moment. "You can, and you'll be so much stronger for it. You won't let it happen again, I know you won't. And I'll be with you every step of the way, if you want me there. Just like always, Bastila. I promise."

Bastila desperately wanted to believe her, but the ideas sounded too good to be true. She didn't deserve forgiveness, much less the soldier's love and support. "Why?" she croaked. "You're being so… Why are you trying so hard to save me when I'm beyond help?"

"Because I don't believe you are," Jade returned instantly, extending a hand to the fallen Knight. "I love you, Bastila. You're worth everything to me." She offered the younger woman a tentative smile. "I know you feel like you're about to fall apart, but I won't let you. Just let it go, Bas. I'll protect you."

Distress burned in Bastila's chest, and she focused on the affectionate, familiar presence of the soldier. With Jade there in front of her, redemption seemed almost within reach. "Jade, I…" The turbulent emotions in her brain seemed to intensify, as though the dark side realized it was about to lose control of her and was making a final attempt to maintain its hold on Bastila.

"Come on, Bas," Jade coaxed, "be strong."

There was trust and hope in Jade's green eyes, and Bastila inhaled slowly before closing her eyes. All the despair and hatred she felt swelled up in her chest, nearly breaking her, but Bastila exhaled and forced them away, focusing on the warm aura of the soldier. A split second later, everything seemed to come pouring out of her, leaving a strange numbness behind. It wasn't bad, and after a moment Bastila placed it as the peace she'd been craving.

Her shoulders sagged and her knees went weak, and Bastila nearly collapsed to the floor. It took her a moment to realize Jade had caught her and was cradling Bastila against her chest, and the strength of the embrace was overwhelming. Bastila dropped her lightsaber to the floor and wrapped her arms around the soldier, clinging to Jade's tunic and burying her face in Jade's shoulder. Jade was real and there, protecting her once again. She could sense the love rolling off the soldier and relished it, letting it soothe her and surround her. She was safe and the dark side had no control over her any more.

Jade hushed her, rocking the brunette gently and holding her close. Bastila could sense the smile on her face and let out a shuddering breath before realizing she was crying.

"You're safe," the soldier murmured, pressing her cheek against Bastila's head.

"I know," Bastila sniffled, unwilling to pull away for fear of waking up from a dream to find herself back in her cell wishing for Jade's embrace. "You're here, and nothing makes me feel safer than to be loved by you."

Jade looked down at the brunette in her arms, grinning when Bastila made eye contact. "Really?"

Bastila nodded and tried to smile, the expression feeling strange on her face after all the weeks of scowling. "I love you."

Jade dipped her head and kissed Bastila soundly. When they broke apart, the soldier's eyes were dancing. She beamed at Bastila before looking around the room. "You really did a number on this place."

Bastila followed Jade's gaze, nodding once and resting her head on Jade's shoulder once again. The destruction around them was the last thing she wanted to think about.

"Between you and me, I think we oughta leave the interior design to Jolee," Jade teased lightly. "His little cabin on Kashyyyk was adorable."

A chuckle escaped Bastila in spite of herself and she felt Jade's arms tighten around her again. "Malak," she remembered a moment later, dreading the battle she knew Jade would be fighting.

"He can wait a few more minutes," Jade retorted. "I'm busy holding you."

"But the Republic-"

The Star Forge rumbled with a distant explosion, and Jade's jaw tensed. "Or not." The soldier reluctantly released Bastila, holding onto her shoulders for a moment. Jade's eyes lingered on Bastila's, seeming to drink in every detail of the brunette that she could.

"Get back to the Hawk," the older woman said. "Once you're there, the Republic could really use your Battle Meditation. I'll try and get there, but if it's time to leave and I'm not there…" She swallowed and tried to smile.

Bastila knew exactly what it was Jade left unsaid and shook her head emphatically. "No! Jade, the Republic is coming. Let them finish him. We can escape now and-"

"He'd know," Jade interrupted with a grimace. "He'd know and he'd find a way to destroy us and ruin everything. I have to go fight him, Bastila. It's not like we weren't expecting it." She sighed and shook herself slightly. "Just... Go. Make sure you're off this thing when it blows."

Bastila pursed her lips and studied the older woman. "No," she decided finally, ignoring the sharp look Jade shot her. "I'm going with you."

The soldier's face twisted with fear. "Bas, no-"

The brunette raised an eyebrow and shook her head slightly. "I know what Malak's capable of, and I don't want you to face it alone." She pulled her lightsaber into her hand and gave Jade a stubborn look. "I spent my time looking for his weaknesses, Jade. I can help."

"But what if he hurts you? Bastila, I don't..." Jade looked helpless at the thought.

"He already has." The hollowness of Bastila's tone surprised both of them and Jade's brow furrowed. "The only way he could hurt me more is by taking you away," Bastila continued, "and I refuse to abandon you to him and allow anything to happen."

The soldier studied Bastila for a moment and sighed. "I'm not going to be able to talk you out of this, am I?"

Bastila shook her head. "You saved me, Jade. I'm going to help save you."

The Star Forge shook again, and Jade finally gave her a relenting smile. "God, you're stubborn. It's a good thing you're so cute." She reached out and cupped Bastila's cheek in her hand, taking in the sight of her before leaning down and kissing Bastila tenderly. "Okay, Princess, let's do this."

Bastila smiled and led the way to Malak's factory chamber. To get there, they walked through a room that Bastila had only ever seen empty, but as soon as the door shut behind them, droids started being built at remarkable speeds. The women ignited their lightsabers and started defending themselves against the robotic onslaught.

Despite their best efforts, Bastila and Jade were quickly overwhelmed, and their Force attacks did little to thin the army attacking them.

"Now what?" Jade yelled over the sound of another droid coming to life.

"I don't know! This room was never active!" Bastila plunged her lightsaber into a droid's core, ducking away as it exploded in a shower of sparks. "There has to be a way to deactivate them."

Jade was distracted for a moment, then fought her way over to Bastila. "Let's jump over them. If we can destroy whatever's making them, we can finish off the rest of the droids and be fine."

"Over them?" Bastila echoed, neatly separating a droid's blaster from its body.

Jade shot her an amused look. "We can use the Force," she reminded the brunette, laughing at little at the embarrassment on Bastila's face. "On three, ready?" Jade counted down and the moment the third number let her mouth, Jade leapt over the droids and into an open area of the factory floor.

Bastila sprang up on her toes, using the Force to fling herself into the air. Time seemed to slow as she felt for a place to land, and then her feet hit the metal floor and she spun to defend herself.

The droids turned and ran at the Jedi, their spider-like legs scuttling across the floor. Jade caught Bastila by the elbow, dragging the brunette to the side of the room. Bastila glanced over her shoulder and saw Jade studying one of the droid assembly machines.

"You okay to cover me for a minute?" the soldier asked.

Bastila nodded, eyeing the wave of droids coming at her. She raised her lightsaber and took out the nearest droid with a quick swing, watching the red blade cut the ancient droid in two. The other droids were unfazed, crawling over the fallen machine and moving toward the Knight.

As Bastila fought them off, Jade swore behind her. A flicker of pain came through their bond and Bastila swallowed panic. "Jade?"

"I'm okay," the soldier returned instantly. "Just, uh, smashed my hand. You still okay?"

"For now." Bastila cut down a few more of the droids, surprised to hear a fizzling noise from behind her. Jade's excitement flowed through both of them and Bastila couldn't contain a grin as Jade stepped forward and joined her in the battle once again.

"One down," Jade announced, glancing out over the factory room. "A few more to go." The soldier stepped out in front of Bastila and flung her arm out, sending out a burst of the Force that sent the front row of droids toppling over. "C'mon."

The duo ran across the room to the next assembly station, and Bastila studied what Jade was doing so she could help. Jade moved quickly, cutting through part of the metal casing and plunging her blade deep into the machine. It sputtered and came to a halt with a shower of sparks, and Jade threw Bastila a grin.

The droids came scurrying up behind them again, and Bastila was caught off guard. One of the droids lifted a spidery leg and jabbed at her, ripping through her dark tunic and down into her skin. Bastila gasped and jerked away, the wound on her back already on fire.

Jade swore and wasted no time and igniting her blade and stepping between Bastila and the droids. The blue beam of her lightsaber cut through countless cores and the soldier stepped forward and slammed her foot into the metal floor, sending out a shockwave of energy that knocked the droid army back.

Bastila grabbed her lightsaber and did her best to help, but the pain and location of the wound made it hard for her to move around. She looked up and saw Jade turn to her, waving the concern away and pointing at a droid moving up behind the older woman. "Watch out!"

Jade wheeled and plunged her blade into the machine's core, frying the droid's circuitry. "How bad did it get you?"

"I'll be fine," Bastila replied, looking to the next assembly system. There were only four more, and she had an opening to get to one. She sprang up with the help of the Force, soaring through the air and landing lightly beside the assembler. Following Jade's example, she shoved her lightsaber deep into the machine and was rewarded with a small explosion and sparks flying.

The droid army seemed smaller when she turned back around, and Jade had just gotten to another assembly machine and was destroying it. With their numbers thinning out, it was taking longer for the swarm to redirect themselves and get to the Jedi.

 _Two more,_ she murmured to the soldier _, I'll take the one on the left._

Jade nodded and the pair moved to the last two assembly machines, making quick work of the ancient parts. With the miniature factories destroyed, Bastila turned her attention back on the droid army. Jade was already hacking away at the nearest droids, and Bastila used her energy to numb the pain in her back before jumping into the fray.

A few minutes later, the droids were no more, and the women exchanged a breathless look across the factory floor. Jade started for Bastila immediately, and the Knight relaxed her protection against the pain. Jade was already at her side when she cringed again, and the soldier immediately found the wound and rested her fingers against it. Warm tingles replaced the pain as Jade healed the wound, and Bastila sighed with relief, allowing Jade to pull her close. She wished for a moment she could spend the rest of her life wrapped up in Jade's arms, but the Star Forge rumbled around them and knocked the thought out of Bastila's mind.

The Knight pulled away from Jade and held out her hand. "Come on," she coaxed. "Let me see it."

Jade gave her a bemused look, showing Bastila her injured hand when the shorter woman clarified. "It's not that bad."

Bastila had to agree that it probably looked worse than it was; despite the blood and gashes on Jade's hand, the soldier didn't seem to be in much pain. Even so, she focused her energy and healed the tissue, wanting Jade to be at her best when she went up against Malak.

Jade grinned down at her and caught her chin, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Thanks, Princess."

Bastila looked up at the woman before her, thinking back on all their travels together and the way the soldier had captured her heart. That they were only guaranteed these last few minutes together before their battle with Malak seemed horribly unfair. The brunette wanted a chance to explore their relationship and to be with Jade more than anything she'd ever wanted before, and the odds that she would be denied that chance...

"Are you sure about this?" Jade asked quietly, her eyebrows raised.

The thought of facing Malak was daunting, but with the Republic fleet in position to attack and destiny rising up to meet them, Bastila knew they had little choice in the matter. She nodded at the soldier before the sudden image of herself falling back to the dark side and draining Jade occurred to her. Fear came to life in the pit of her stomach and she could feel the dark side trying to pull her back into its clutches.

Jade reached out for her, grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. The expression on her face told Bastila she'd seen the vision, and the soldier shook her head. "That won't happen," she promised. "We'll keep each other strong."

The Knight exhaled slowly, focusing on the sensation of Jade's fingers laced through hers. After a moment she looked up at Jade and nodded once. The soldier glanced toward the elevator to Malak's lair, shrugging to herself.

"Ready?"

"Almost," Bastila murmured, reaching up and capturing Jade's mouth in a kiss. "I have to... Before we go up there... Jade, I love you." Her tone was nearly anguished, but she knew that if she didn't get the words out now, she'd never forgive herself.

The soldier almost looked surprised, but smiled and returned the kiss. "I can't wait to get old hearing you say that," she joked, the promise of a future clear in her words.

Bastila smiled in spite of the situation and gave her soldier's hand a squeeze. "Let's go."

They walked into the elevator together, bolstered by each other's presence. The doors slid shut behind them and the elevator started rising with a low hum.


	7. Chapter 7

Bastila's heart was in her throat, but somehow going to face Malak with Jade at her side wasn't nearly as terrifying as she had feared. She would finally get to see the man that had caused her so much pain and watch his defeat. Even though she knew the thoughts of revenge were part of what had led to her fall, Bastila couldn't help but want to see that he received justice.

She could sense Jade's curiosity about what Malak had done to her, but chose not to show the soldier. There would be time for that later, and she didn't want to be a reason for Jade to get angry and give in to her hatred.

Beneath them, the elevator slowed, and they exchanged an anxious look before the humming stopped and the doors slid open.

Jade released her hand and led the way into Malak's large factory room, toward the Sith leader. Every step seemed to echo in the room that dwarfed even Malak, and the walk to meet her former Master took an eternity.

"Well done, Revan," Malak spat as they neared, turning around with a flip of his cape. "Not only have you managed to find your way to the Star Forge, you've managed to convert my apprentice back to your pathetic light side."

Jade nodded stiffly. "I'm not a coward, Malak. I'm not going to hide away and wait for the fight to come to me."

Malak bristled and narrowed his eyes at his former Master. "I see. Attempting to rile me with words. Perhaps there is still something of worth in you after all. I could capture you alive and break you, just as I did your precious Bastila." The Sith's eyes darted over to where the Knight was standing and he sneered. "You would be a better apprentice than Bastila, but the risk of capturing you may be too great. In time, you would betray me just as I betrayed you."

"You're making the mistake of assuming you could capture me, or that I'm going to let you hurt Bastila." Jade's tone was cool and Bastila glanced over, half afraid that Jade had succumbed to the dark energy swirling all around them. The soldier stood tall and strong, the warmth of the light side still rolling off her.

Bastila breathed a sigh of relief and turned to face Malak once again, the anxiety at facing her tormentor easing slightly.

Malak scowled at her. "You are weak, Revan. Bringing backup to fight me? Especially the shell of a woman that I formed Bastila into. How does it feel, Bastila, to know that you will never be the same again? I broke you, used you, and sent you off to die at Revan's hand. How can you possibly think you can return to anything like what you once were?"

The words cut deep and the truth in them hurt. Bastila paused and couldn't help but wonder if Malak was right. All the things that Jade had said… Wanting an ally in the final battle against Malak would make sense.

 _No, Bas, he's wrong._  Jade's voice was frantic in her ears.  _He's just trying to turn you back to the dark side. Don't listen to him_.

Bastila looked at the soldier again, seeing desperation in Jade's face.

"How cowardly, Malak," Jade tutted, her eyes lingering on Bastila. "Are you too scared to attack me directly that you have to attack Bastila instead?"

Malak turned a fierce glare on Jade. "Surely you remember the way of the Sith, Revan. The greatest attack is not a physical one. Damaging what one holds dear is the purest display of control and power there is."

The Star Forge shook underneath them again and Jade grinned. "So I guess having the Republic outside to blow the Star Forge into space dust is a pretty good attack, then."

Malak growled and grabbed for his lightsaber.

Fear pulsed in Bastila's brain and she looked between Malak and the soldier. Jade stood there defiantly, her eyes darting from the Sith Lord to Bastila.

_Don't let him get to you, Bastila. Stay with me._

Bastila saw Malak ignite his blade and focused on Jade's presence in her mind. The soothing gentleness of Jade enveloped her and Malak's taunts seemed trivial and unimportant.  _Thank you._

Jade smiled and returned her attention to Malak. "All these mind games you're playing are running you out of time. Any minute now, the Republic will break through your lines and attack the Star Forge directly." The soldier's smile grew when Malak seemed to swell with aggravation. "Just go ahead and surrender, Malak. It's your last chance."

Malak roared in answer and lunged toward Jade.

A split second later, Bastila had her lightsaber out and was rushing to help Jade, who was locked in combat with the Sith.

The air was filled with grunts and the sharp noises of crashing lightsabers. Malak didn't seem terribly thrown off by having to battle both of them at once, delivering powerful blows that would send one of them reeling while he attacked the other.

Bastila knew it was dangerous to lessen her focus on the battle before her, but in the back of her mind, she tapped into her Battle Meditation and used it for herself and Jade. The soldier's attacks seemed to be more precise just seconds later, and Malak was nearly caught off guard. Jade threw a powerful Force attack at him, and Bastila snuck in with her lightsaber, cutting through Malak's armor and into his skin.

Malak twisted away, avoiding the worst of the attack. He shot Bastila a fierce glare, flinging his hand out at her. Lightning erupted from his fingertips and arced toward her, and Bastila lifted her blade, trying to let her lightsaber absorb as much of the energy as she could. The hilt heated up rapidly in her hand, burning her skin in a matter of seconds.

Bastila yelped and dropped her weapon, only to have Malak's attack burn through her body instead. It was as if she was back in her torture chamber all over again, and there was a sharp pain in her knees as she fell to the deck.

"Get off of her!" Jade yelled from far away, and Bastila was vaguely aware of the sound of lightsabers crashing as the pain faded.

She reached for her lightsaber shakily and dragged herself to her feet, trying to shake off the dizziness she felt before moving to help Jade.

The soldier had just launched a brutal flurry of attacks when Bastila arrived, and working together, they managed to find a hole in Malak's defenses that was just wide enough for Jade's lightsaber to dart in and severely wound the Sith.

Malak snarled and stumbled away, knocking the Jedi away from him with a burst of the Force.

Bastila and Jade scrambled back to their feet and started after him, but Jade caught Bastila's arm as Malak ran over to a stasis cage.

"Wait," Jade panted, frowning as Malak deactivated the cage and levitated a body out of it.

"You may think you have me beaten, Revan," Malak taunted, "but you never realized the true power of the Star Forge. Look around you. See the bodies?"

Bastila followed the sweeping gesture from Malak, aware of Jade's sickened gasp. Scattered across the chamber were more cages, all with the ghostly outline of bodies hovering inside them.

"You might recognize them from the Academy," Malak continued. "I salvaged their nearly-dead bodies when my forces attacked Dantooine and brought them here. The Star Forge allows me to feed off of them, using their power to magnify my own."

Malak focused on the corpse in front of him for a moment, clenching his fist slowly. The body suspended in the air shuddered, then collapsed in on itself, the shriveled remains falling to the deck and disintegrating. Malak pulled the energy of the Jedi through the air and into his body, seeming recharged almost immediately.

Bastila was both horrified and outraged at the sight. These people, suspended so near death and prevented from joining the Force, were just like she had been: a thing for Malak to use and discard. The Sith Lord had spared her the same fate, attempting to use her in far more malicious ways, but it wasn't hard to imagine herself in the same position.

Jade shot Bastila a cautionary look at the emotions that went through their bond, looking positively ill at what Malak had demonstrated.

"You will never defeat me, not while I have these Jedi at my disposal!" Malak laughed, whirling his lightsaber around himself before charging toward the women.

 _Shit._  Jade growled, ducking away from a swing of Malak's lightsaber.  _We don't have time to fight him over and over again._

Bastila raised her blade and blocked a blow aimed at her neck, straining against Malak as he leaned into the attack. She twisted away and let Malak stumble, trying to strike while he was disoriented, but he blocked her attack easily and backhanded her. Bastila felt herself hit the deck and crawled away from the Sith, getting back to her feet as quickly as she could.

Panic came through her bond with Jade, and Bastila looked up to see Malak holding Jade in the air, slowly squeezing the life out of her. Bastila cried out and lunged at the Sith, only to be met with Malak's unconcerned parries while he continued to attack the soldier. The Knight changed her tactics and blocked a wayward strike before delivering a solid kick to Malak's armored stomach. He grunted and scowled down at her, his focus shifting to the brunette.

Bastila heard Jade fall to the floor behind her and allowed herself a moment of relief before all her attention went to deflecting Malak's blows. She had never been on the receiving end of such a brutal attack, and it took every bit of strength she had to keep her arms from giving out under the strikes. She drew upon the Force to keep her reflexes as quick as she could muster.

Malak saw her muscles weakening and his eyes took on a predatory glint. "You were a fool to allow Revan to turn you," he hissed, crashing his lightsaber into hers. "You threw away all the power the Star Forge could grant you just to die."

"No," Bastila retorted, "I let her free me from the destruction I was hurtling toward, and I let her free me from you. I threw away nothing, and even if I die, I'll die at peace, knowing I've gained back everything."

Malak snarled at her and sent a disorienting pulse of the Force through her. Bastila paused for a split second and tried to shake off the attack, jumping away a moment too late. The red lightsaber took a large chunk out of her right knee, and Bastila cried out but managed to remain standing.

Malak descended on her with a hail of powerful strikes, but Bastila defended herself despite the searing pain.

Just when she was about to be overwhelmed, Jade appeared beside her, blue blade arcing toward Malak. She diverted enough of the Sith's attention to allow Bastila to start healing her knee, but the Knight didn't focus on herself for long, sensing an opening in Malak's defenses.

With a burst of Force energy from Bastila, Malak was caught off guard long enough for the Jedi to each launch an attack at him. His reflexes allowed him to escape the worst of the damage but Malak scowled and leaped away, running for another body to drain.

Jade was panting, but turned her attention on the Knight. "How bad...?"

Bastila looked down to check, disturbed by the deformation of her knee. She could still put weight on in, albeit gingerly, and did her best to ignore the pain. Jade pushed a medpac into her hands, looking over her shoulder to where Malak was deactivating a stasis cage.

"We've gotta find a way to keep him from doing that," the soldier grumbled as the station shook underneath them. She reached out to steady Bastila as the brunette staggered, looking like she wanted nothing more than to escape the Star Forge and let the Republic finish Malak. "Can you check out one of those cages while I try and hold him off?"

Bastila wanted to protest, not wanting Jade to risk getting injured, but saw the sense in the request and nodded. "I can try."

Jade offered her a half smile that didn't reach her eyes before the sound of Malak draining the corpse reached their ears. The soldier's face darkened and she released Bastila reluctantly. "Good luck."

Bastila echoed the words and watched helplessly as Jade turned and drew her lightsaber, running off to face Malak. She turned away and headed toward the nearest bank of stasis cages as quickly as her knee would allow. The sound of smashing lightsabers was distracting, but Jade seemed fine through their bond, so she did her best to focus.

The stasis cage was ancient and well-designed, and Bastila could see no easy way to interact with it. The body inside was still, but Bastila could feel the faintest breath of life from it. A sense of longing came from the Jedi bordering on death, and Bastila searched the cage for any sort of power source to disable it.

_Please..._

Bastila jolted in surprise at the foreign voice in her mind. She looked at the body in the cage before her, sensing the Jedi reaching out to her.

_Don't let him end me that way._

That the Jedi were aware of their purpose was chilling, and Bastila reached out with the Force, cradling the wounded Jedi's weak mind. She could feel where the life support was forcing the broken body to stay alive, enclosing one of the connections with her mind. She gently cut off the connection, aware of the other systems fading. Relief filtered through the Jedi and she received a fleeting sense of gratitude before she felt the presence fade. The stasis cage holding the body blared out a warning signal and Bastila barely had time to move away before it exploded.

Surprise came through her bond with Jade, but Bastila immediately quelled the soldier's concern.  _They're still alive, Jade. They know what's happening to them. Close off their life support, and they join the Force._  She looked across the deck to where Malak and Jade were locked in fierce combat. The soldier caught a glimpse of her between blows and nodded.

Bastila studied the combatants for a moment and threw her lightsaber toward Malak's back, hoping to catch the Sith off guard. Her blade soared toward Malak, who sensed it at the last moment and whirled around to deflect the weapon coming toward him.

Jade took her opportunity and swung her lightsaber at the huge Sith, her blade cutting through his armor and into his side. Malak roared, the sound almost unbearable through the bionic mouthpiece, and flung Jade away. He staggered toward the nearest cage, grunting with each step.

 _I'm fine_ , Jade assured her immediately.  _So just find and deactivate life support?_

 _Block it off with the Force_. Bastila turned and hobbled toward a bank of stasis cages, deactivating the support sequences for all three Jedi as quickly as she could.

_Awesome. How many are left?_

Bastila scanned the deck and counted, pleased with the number she came up with.  _Four._

The Star Forge shook more violently than before, a sign that the Republic was making progress and time was running out.

Across the deck, Jade shot her an anxious look. The soldier's eyes darted past Bastila to the last full bank of stasis cages and back to the Knight.  _Can you get all those in time?_

Bastila could see the other cage off behind Jade, near where Malak was busy feeding off the waning energy of a Jedi, and nodded.  _I'll be fine. Distract him and I'll try and come get the other cage, as well._

Jade looked ready to protest, but Malak started laughing and she turned to see him drawing energy from the air around him.

"You cannot win, Revan!" he thundered, raising his arms high into the air and sending electricity arcing up toward the ceiling. There was still a gaping wound in his side, but it didn't appear to bother him as Malak ran toward Jade.

"Go, Bastila!" Jade yelled, raising her lightsaber in time to block a blow before leaping away from the Sith.

Bastila started toward the stasis cages, pain burning up her leg with every step. She could feel the dark side all around her, taunting her with promises of healing and strength to wipe out Malak singlehandedly, but Bastila ignored it, keeping her eyes on her goal. As soon as she was within range, Bastila began deactivating the cages, releasing the Jedi from their torment and allowing them to join the Force. It didn't take her long, and Bastila was glad, turning around to head for the last cage.

A burst of distress came through their bond and Bastila looked over instantly. Jade ducked away from a near-fatal blow and used the Force to jump out of Malak's range. The soldier landed wrong, stumbling and nearly falling over.

Malak saw an opportunity and took it, hurling his lightsaber toward the disoriented soldier.

Bastila flung up a barrier with the Force, but Malak's lightsaber punched through it, hurtling toward Jade with alarming speed. She watched in horror as the soldier turned and saw the crimson blade rushing at her, unable to find her voice to call out a warning.

Jade tried to jerk away but couldn't escape the weapon, and a split second later, the blade neatly sliced through her left arm, severing the limb above her elbow.

The soldier let out an agonized cry and searing pain came through their bond, nearly crippling Bastila in its intensity. Somewhere off in the distance, Malak was laughing, but the only thing Bastila could focus on was Jade. The older woman's thoughts were a disjointed mess, tumbling over one another as Jade tried to block out the pain.

Bastila's own injury was forgotten and she raced toward Jade, who crumpled to the floor.

Malak towered over the soldier, pulling his lightsaber back into his hand and raising it high above his head. He chuckled and shook his head. "You see, Revan," he began, unable to continue when Bastila all but tackled him, throwing everything she could muster into the attack. Her weight was barely enough to knock Malak off balance, but she tried her best, jamming her lightsaber hilt up against his chest and igniting the blade.

Malak jerked and staggered, dropping to his knees with a raspy curse. Bastila's hands were shaking as she yanked her lightsaber from his chest and kept it aimed at him, still fully aware of Jade's pain. The soldier moaned from behind her, and Bastila could sense Jade trying to stand up and failing. Everything in her wanted to go to Jade, but she didn't dare take her eyes off the Sith.

"How..." Malak choked, his eyes wide as he looked up at Bastila.

"You chose this path, Malak," Jade ground out from behind Bastila, finally dragging herself to her feet and staggering closer to stand at Bastila's side. She took a few shallow breaths and barely restrained a whimper before speaking again. "The minute you chose the Sith, you doomed yourself to destruction."

"Still spouting the teachings of the light side," Malak mused, sounding almost calm as the color drained from his face. "You always were a charismatic one, Revan, fighting for what you believed in." He shook his head and coughed. "And here I am, left to what destiny has brought me."

Jade seemed to have an answer ready, but Malak started coughing again, and gave a few ragged gasps before he slumped forward and moved no more.

The moment Malak's corpse fell to the floor, Bastila extinguished her lightsaber and turned to Jade. "Jade, what... Are you..." She took in the sight of Jade's missing limb, startled by the lack of blood. "You're not bleeding."

The soldier shook her head weakly, still obviously in pain. "Heat sealed it off. It just really fucking hurts."

Bastila reached out to heal the soldier, shaken off when the Star Forge shook violently and an alarm started blaring.

Jade frowned and looked out of the factory windows, her eyes widening slightly. Bastila followed her gaze and was amazed at how close and how numerous the Republic fleet was.

"We've gotta go," Jade realized, "or we're gonna get blown apart any minute now."

Malak was something tangible to fight against, but the invisible timer that was counting down the seconds until the Star Forge was overrun was not, and that made their position all the more terrifying.

Bastila swallowed and nodded, nudging Jade toward the elevator through which they'd entered the factory.

The soldier hesitated and looked at the younger woman. "There's no way that thing will take us all the way back to Deck One, is there? I don't think we've got time to run all the way back through this thing to the hangar."

Bastila's mind went blank and a moment of panic nearly overwhelmed her. Malak had often been able to access ships without heading through the entire Star Forge; there had to be a way out of his lair. The Knight looked around, spotting two walkways sloping down from the factory floor. She reached out with her senses and realized both led to elevators, nearly fainting with relief. "Down there," she said, pointing to one of the elevators and hoping it was the most direct route to the Ebon Hawk.

Jade followed her gaze and brightened slightly. "Can you run?"

Bastila wasn't sure, but she nodded anyway. "I'll do my best."

Jade nearly fell over as the station rumbled under their feet, catching Bastila's hand and starting toward the elevator. Bastila kept up as best she could, trying to block out the pain in her knee and motivating herself to push through it. Momentary pain was better than dying on an exploding space station.

The elevator door slid open for them as they arrived, and the pair scrambled inside it. Bastila hit the button for the hangar and sagged against the wall, gasping for breath. Jade released her hand and paced around the elevator, muttering about how much time the ride was taking.

After what felt like more violent explosions than the station could withstand, the elevator finally slowed and the doors hissed open.

Bastila's heart sank when she was greeted with the sight of an empty hangar. They were too late.

"Wrong hangar," Jade grumbled, stepping out of the cab and looking for a door. "It's gotta be the next one over; this is shaped backward to where the Hawk was."

The hope that had nearly disappeared came back to life in Bastila's chest and she guided Jade to the door. "This way, let's go!"

They ran to the door and into the corridor, met with frantic Sith soldiers. Jade grabbed Bastila's hand again and led her through the mass of people, finding the other hangar entrance and ducking through it.

Bastila had never been more grateful to see the drab brown of the Ebon Hawk's hull in all her life. It was only a second later that she realized the engines were powering up and the ship's hatch was starting to close.

"Shit!" Jade yelled. "Onasi, I swear I'll kill you with my bare hands if you leave us here!"

The Ebon Hawk started to lift off and Bastila swallowed horror.

"This is our only chance," Jade said with a panic-stricken look at the Knight. She focused her attention on the hatch and the closing door slowed slightly. "Ready?"

What Jade was planning occurred to Bastila only a second before the order left the soldier's mouth.

"Jump!"

Bastila knew jumping would probably injure her knee beyond repair but it was that or stay on the Star Forge and be blown to space dust. She launched herself off her good leg, aiming her body with the Force and flying neatly into the barely-open hatch. The brunette skidded along the metal floor, safely inside the Ebon Hawk.

Jade landed beside her with a grunt. The hatch hissed closed and the engines roared as the ship took off.

Bastila rolled over and winced at the throbbing pain in her knee. Jade's panting reached her ears and she pushed herself up on her elbow and reached for the woman beside her. Her fingers brushed against Jade's shoulder and Bastila dragged herself closer, only vaguely aware that she was gasping for breath as well.

Jade managed a smile when Bastila's palm cupped her cheek, and she reached up and held onto Bastila's hand. "We did it, Princess."

There was the sound of a far off explosion and the Ebon Hawk shook as the shock wave of energy passed over it. Jade gripped Bastila's arm a little tighter until the rumbling had stopped, then slipped her arm around Bastila's neck and pulled the Knight close. She kissed the brunette soundly, breaking away when the sound of a blaster powering up reached their ears.

"Thought you could catch a ride with us, huh?" Canderous growled as he stepped around the corner and leveled a blaster at them, swearing in surprise when he saw the two Jedi. Mandalorian words fell from his mouth without him realizing it, and Jade scowled up at him.

"That's the kind of greeting you give us after we had to chase you guys out of the hangar?" Jade scoffed and grinned slightly when the Mandalorian laughed.

"They made it!" Canderous called, and a chorus of surprised cheers filled the ship.

Bastila buried her face in the crook of Jade's neck, not caring who saw as footsteps came clamoring toward them. She and Jade were alive and Malak was defeated. Nothing else mattered.

Jolee's gruff voice filled her ears a moment later, and the old man's gentle hands pried her away from the soldier. She leaned back against the wall, still recovering from their run to the ship. Not even a minute later, Mission nearly knocked the breath out of her with a hug, then saw the wound on Bastila's knee and started rifling through Jolee's medical supplies for a medpac.

Jade tried to sit up only to have the crew give horrified gasps at the sight of her missing limb. Jolee set to work with painkillers all around the stump of Jade's arm and Bastila was glad to feel the ache ease through their bond.

"Someone go tell Carth to radio for a medical team," Jolee barked, muttering to himself about his meager medical skills barely being enough to fix everyone's every ache and pain, much less accidental amputations.

Mission got up and ran for the cockpit while Canderous crouched down beside Bastila, grabbing a medpac and opening it for her.

"Not bad," he admitted with a cocky grin. "For a Jedi." He tore open the rip in her pants leg just enough to expose more than her wounded knee, then injected the medpac into her leg. The medicine felt both cool and warm as it tingled through the wound and Bastila exhaled slowly.

"Hands off my woman, Ordo," the soldier joked, shaking Jolee off and sitting up slowly. She crawled over to Bastila and settled beside her, reaching across herself to grab one of Bastila's hands.

Jolee gathered up his things and moved over to check Bastila's knee, nudging Canderous out of the way. The Mandalorian got to his feet and brushed himself off before excusing himself to the cockpit to teach Carth how to fly.

Everyone laughed, and Jolee deemed Bastila's injury stable enough to wait until they could get a Republic doctor to look at it. He finally offered them a grin and congratulated the pair. "Sounds like you two put my old adventuring days to shame. This'll be one for the history books so kids thousands of years from now can whine about studying it." He chuckled and gave Bastila's shoulder a squeeze before getting up and returning his supplies to the medbay.

"Told you we'd be okay," Jade murmured as soon as they were alone.

"Are you?" Bastila countered gently, very aware of the loss Jade had endured and the absence of her arm between them.

Jade was quiet for a moment before she shrugged. "We'll see. I'm better off than a lotta guys, I guess, since I've got the Force. But," she added, "we're both alive and that's good enough for me." The soldier turned her head and pressed a kiss to Bastila's cheek. "Thanks for being so stubborn and coming with me, Bas."

Bastila gave Jade's hand a squeeze. "Thank you for saving me."

They sat there together quietly, trying to relax after everything they had been through, and Mission finally came bounding back to where they were sitting by the hatch.

"Carth says the admiral's gonna send down her best team of doctors," the young blue alien announced. "And that he's sorry for tryin' to fly off and leave you there. Oh, and some Jedi Master wants to see you." She scratched her nose and grinned at the Jedi. "You two are cute together."

"A Jedi?" Bastila repeated, not sure if she was more amazed or concerned. That anyone had survived the assault on Dantooine was news to her, news that she was glad to hear, but she couldn't imagine the Jedi had anything nice to say to her.

Jade stroked the back of the brunette's hand with her thumb. "Thanks, Mish."

The Twi'lek beamed before glancing toward the dormitory. "I guess I should see if I can get Big Z out of his bed, huh? Poor guy was terrified. Imagine that, a Wookiee terrified of a space battle!" She winked and walked off to the dormitory, calling out to the Wookiee teasingly.

Bastila sighed and tried not to think about all the punishments the Jedi would have for her, focusing on Jade's hand in hers and the gentle presence of the soldier beside her.

"Don't worry, Princess," Jade murmured in her ear. "Everything's gonna be fine."

Bastila wanted to scoff, but sitting there beside Jade, it was easier to believe the words than fight them, so she nodded and turned to kiss Jade. "I love you," she whispered, trusting and caring about the woman beside her more than anything the Master had to say.


	8. Chapter 8

Carth flew past the beach, setting the Ebon Hawk down on the flat plain surrounding the temple. As soon as the ship was safely powered down, he came and found the Jedi, apologizing over and over again for nearly deserting them on the Star Forge.

They received a message from a Republic ship not long after they'd landed, stating that the medical team was landing and preparing for Bastila and Jade to come seek medical attention. Carth lowered the hatch and helped the women to their feet, allowing Bastila to lean heavily on his shoulder.

Everyone on board the Ebon Hawk filed off the ship, relishing the sweet air and warm sunset and soothing their minds after the horrific battle they'd been engaged in hours before.

Carth helped Bastila hobble over to the medical ship that had just landed, and Jade walked along beside them quietly. Much to Bastila's malign, they were taken to separate examination rooms that reminded her of her prison cell, but the doctors seemed to assess her injury and set to work quickly enough to keep her thoughts at bay.

Medpacs and kolto were applied freely, and Bastila could feel the tissue healing. The doctor cautioned her that due to the way her knee had been injured, she would always have a limp, but Bastila decided that was a small price to pay.

An orderly came in just as the doctor was doing a few last things, announcing that the Jedi Master had arrived.

Dread settled in the pit of Bastila's stomach, and Jade sent calming waves through their bond. Before the soldier could say anything, the door hissed open and Master Vandar waddled in.

There was a surprisingly kind look on the small alien's face, and it left Bastila feeling surprisingly unsettled.

"Ah, Bastila, it is good to see you alive and well." The alien dipped his head in greeting. "I believe you've been through quite an ordeal."

Bastila nodded weakly, watching the doctor and orderly leave. "Yes, Master. I… Have the rest of the Council survived? I was told about the attack before Malak-"

Vandar nodded. "Yes, all of the Council has survived. Many of our students were not so lucky, I'm afraid." Sadness passed through his eyes and his ears drooped slightly.

He started talking about the Jedi escape and going into hiding while waiting for Jade to move in on Malak. The Master didn't mention anything about Bastila's capture or fall, and she could hardly stand him ignoring the topic.

"Master," she interrupted, apologizing immediately when he paused. "Why have you not punished me, or at the very least scolded me? I fell to the dark side!"

Vandar studied her for a moment before a smile stretched across his face. "What is it you expect me to do, Bastila?"

She gestured helplessly, settling on a shrug. "Demote me, berate me, force me to give up my lightsaber… I don't know, Master."

"Are you still tempted by the dark side?" Vandar returned patiently, cocking his head as he waited for her answer.

Bastila shook her head immediately. "No, Master. After Malak… No, never."

Vandar nodded simply. "Then you have learned your lesson. Do not let your passions overwhelm you, Bastila, and you will stay on the path of the light. You and Jade have kept each other strong in the darkest of times, and I have no doubt that you will continue to do so."

Bastila hesitated, uncertain about the Master's perception of her relationship with the soldier. Vandar's eyes were understanding, and she wondered how much he already knew. "She saved me," Bastila admitted softly. "She… Jade-I love her, Master. She saved me, and I love her."

Vandar didn't say anything for a long moment, long enough that Bastila's insides squirmed uncomfortably. She finally risked a glance at the little alien, surprised to see the smile still on his face. "What do you think is a Jedi's greatest quality?"

Bastila was thrown by the question, but still tried to grapple for an answer. "Mediation between opposing sides?" she ventured, absently scratching at the healing tissue on her knee.

Vandar considered it but shook his head. "It runs deeper than that, Bastila. Mediation requires compassion, which is a much closer answer, but what is a necessary part of compassion?"

It took Bastila a few moments, but realization slowly dawned on her. "Love?"

Vandar nodded. "Love is at the basis of all that the Jedi stand for," he murmured. "While many of our actions seem politically or socially motivated, love for living beings is at the root of it all." He studied her for a moment before continuing. "For many, that love and passion can consume them. I am sure Jolee Bindo has many thoughts on this, if you choose to seek his counsel." Vandar shook his head sympathetically. "You have a powerful connection with Jade, and I believe that the two of you will be able to protect each other from the lure of the dark side, no matter what path the two of you choose to walk."

Bastila was sure she was misunderstanding and opened her mouth to ask, but Vandar's kind smile came back to his face, accompanied by a wink. She snapped her jaw shut and tried not to blush.

Vandar just smiled and shook his head with a chuckle. "I believe the admiral would like to have a celebration in the morning to commemorate Malak's defeat. She no doubt has plans to honor all of you for your parts in this mission."

The mere thought of attending a ceremony made Bastila feel weary, and Vandar chuckled at the expression on her face.

"It's only for a few hours," he assured her, reaching up and patting her uninjured knee. "A mere formality to keep the peace."

Bastila nodded. "Yes, Master." She studied the little alien before her, still halfway expecting to be punished.

Vandar simply smiled at her. "It is good to have you back, Bastila." He stepped away and glanced over his shoulder at the door, his ears twitching slightly. "I believe someone is waiting for you."

Restlessness filtered through their bond and Bastila couldn't help but perk up at the thought of having Jade so close. She eased herself off the examination table, landing gingerly on her feet and testing her knee. There was still a dull ache, but it was nothing she couldn't tolerate. Part of her ached to go find Jade, but she realized she couldn't just run out on Vandar.

"Thank you, Master," she offered, bowing slightly.

Vandar nodded and motioned toward the door, silently urging her to go find Jade.

Bastila smiled and started out of the room, adjusting to her limp and doing her best to get used to it. Exiting the little examination room brought relief that she didn't even know she was craving, but before she had time to ponder it, Jade was there in front of her, sitting in a chair with her eyes closed.

"Jade," Bastila called quietly, moving toward the soldier and aiming for a chair beside her.

Jade's eyes popped open and she grinned up at the brunette wearily. "How'd it go? What'd the Jedi say?"

Bastila eased herself down into the chair and rubbed at the ache above her knee. "Master Vandar didn't deem punishment necessary," she admitted, turning her attention on the soldier's missing arm. "What did your doctors say?"

Jade gave her missing arm a sour look and shrugged. "It'll hurt for a while. Might be able to get a prosthetic or a bionic replacement, but I don't know yet."

Bastila frowned slightly, choosing not to say anything and let the soldier make her own decision. The pair sat there for a while, greeting Master Vandar as he left the ship and getting a dismissal from their doctors.

"Come on," Jade murmured, rising to her feet and extending her hand to Bastila. "Let's get back to the Hawk and see if we can get some sleep."

Bastila followed willingly, pleased when Jade didn't release her hand. They walked out of the medical ship slowly, into the cool night air, and Jade stopped to stare up at the stars. Bastila followed her gaze and they studied the twinkling lights above them reverently.

"Amazing how peaceful it looks," the soldier breathed, "even after everything that just happened up there."

Bastila hummed her agreement, looking back out across the plain and rubbing at her already-stiff neck. She gave Jade's hand a gentle tug and guided the soldier back to the ship, and they rummaged through the galley for something to eat. Most of the crew had already gone to sleep, and Bastila and Jade followed their example, slipping off to bed as soon as they had finished eating.

Bastila laid in her bed for what felt like an eternity waiting for sleep to come. Her mind was still buzzing with the battle and every little noise had her senses on alert.

"Can you sleep?" Jade whispered after a while, sounding just as wide awake as Bastila felt.

The Knight shook her head in the darkness, remembering to speak her response a moment later. "No, I... Everything's so fresh in my mind, and..."

Jade murmured an agreement and shifted in her bed.  _Do you think you'll ever be able to tell me what Malak did to you?_  the soldier asked uncertainly.  _Some of the things you felt on the Star Forge... I want to be able to help, Bastila. I mean, I'm curious, but..._

Bastila sighed and considered the request for a moment. She knew sleep wouldn't come easily for either of them, and had the nagging feeling that she was going to be plagued by the memories for years to come. Jade was going to be exposed to the memories regardless of when Bastila chose to share them, and the Knight knew it would be better to share them on her own terms, rather than let nightmares twist them into far more horrific visions.  _All right,_ she agreed softly. _Just... Please don't resent me._

Jade seemed to balk at the words.  _No, Bas, I didn't mean it had to be tonight-_

 _They haven't become nightmares yet_ , Bastila returned,  _and I don't want to face them alone when they do._

The soldier was at a loss for words and settled on sending Bastila a comforting wave of Force energy.

Bastila smiled slightly and took a deep breath before dipping into her mind, searching for the painful memories she wished she didn't have. When she settled on her first night in her cell and the torture that followed, Bastila allowed Jade into her mind and let the scene play out before her. The Knight tried to remain detached, but as she moved through the memories to her fall, the emotions became harder to ignore.

She didn't realize she was shaking until Jade crept over to her bed and her fingers ghosted across Bastila's arms. The soldier seemed agonized by the visions in her head and quietly asked permission to join Bastila.

The younger woman tried to speak but could only manage a whimper, which Jade took as an answer and crawled up beside Bastila. The soldier wound her arm around Bastila and held her close, the embrace strong and protective.

"He can't hurt you anymore," Jade promised, her voice a whisper. "He's gone, and I won't let anyone do that to you ever again."

Bastila exhaled shakily and buried her face in Jade's shoulder, taking in the warmth of the soldier and focusing on how tightly Jade was holding her. She wasn't sure if she could bear the memories haunting her, but with Jade there, wrapped around her, she felt almost strong enough to overcome anything.

Jade draped a blanket over them with the Force and brushed her lips against Bastila's forehead. She seemed content to hold the brunette, and Bastila pushed the visions of her torture away, relishing the embrace and allowing herself to feel all the affection and protection radiating off of the soldier.

It took a long time for her thoughts to slow and for the knot of tension in her chest to loosen. She could hear the soldier's heart beating and let the sound soothe her, grateful that Jade was still alive, even after all the danger she'd been through, both as Revan and herself. The thought struck Bastila with realization and she angled her chin to look at Jade in the darkness. "Jade, I..."  _I never got the chance to... You said you had questions about being Revan. I promised..._

Jade shook her head slightly. _I did, but... Later. I don't want to think about that right now, Bas. I just wanna hold you._

Bastila didn't press her, but couldn't stop a trickle of guilt from settling into her mind. She hadn't meant to abandon Jade to the demons of her past, and knowing that she had...

"Stop," Jade murmured, shifting and catching Bastila's mouth in a light kiss.  _It's okay. We've got the rest of our lives to talk about it._

The promise in the words warmed Bastila and she snuggled deeper into the soldier's embrace. She was tempted to try to fall asleep, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw Malak and fresh distress flared up in the pit of her stomach. Jade rubbed her back comfortingly, nursing haunting images of her own.

They laid awake for a long time and listened to the sound of each other breathing, each doing their best to forget the horrors the day had brought.

 

=====:=====

Bastila woke to the sound of the engines powering up, confused and mildly alarmed until she remembered where she was. Jade's arm was still wound around her, though sleep had loosened the soldier's grip. She was warm and comfortable curled against the older woman and didn't bother moving; if there was a problem, someone would come and tell her.

The ship moved and set back down a few minutes later, and the noises of the engines faded. Footsteps came toward the dormitory, and Carth's head appeared in the doorway. His face took on an apologetic look when he saw Bastila was awake.

"Sorry, the admiral wanted to clear off the space around the temple for the ceremony," he explained. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Bastila shook her head slightly to brush away Carth's apology. "How long until this ceremony is supposed to start?"

Carth shrugged. "An hour or two." There was a wistful look in his eyes as he studied the Jedi, but he offered Bastila a small smile and shook his head. "She was a wreck without you. I'm... glad you have each other."

The emotions in Carth's eyes made Bastila somewhat insecure, but she ignored it and reminded herself that Jade was holding her, not clinging to Carth. "We'll be along," she promised, shifting slightly against the soldier.

Carth nodded and slipped away, leaving the Jedi alone.

Bastila looked at Jade, studying the scars and the exhaustion still evident on the older woman's face. The woman had promised to love and protect her, and Bastila believed her with every part of her being. She was filled with warmth and gently wrapped her arms around the soldier, pulling her close and brushing her lips against Jade's forehead.

Jade stirred, slowly opened her eyes, and a smile stretched across her face. "Hey," she mumbled sleepily, burrowing closer to the Knight. The pause in her motions when she remembered the loss of her arm wasn't lost on Bastila, who hugged her gently.

"Carth said the ceremony is going to be soon."

Jade grunted at the reminder. "Great. Good for them. Will they mind if I stay here instead?"

Bastila tutted quietly. "Yes, they will. We're all expected to be there." Part of her was struck by the change in their relationship from the first time they had boarded the Ebon Hawk. Even a few weeks before, Bastila would have refused any sort of attachment to the soldier, fearing the lure of the dark side and all the taboos against it. Now, after facing Malak and returning from the dark side, she wasn't afraid anymore. Despite the idea of being in a relationship being foreign and nerve-wracking to her, Bastila knew she loved the soldier more than enough to try. "Come, we should get ready."

Jade groaned but didn't fight the coaxing, releasing Bastila and getting out of the bed. Bastila followed suit, though the sight of Jade stretching stopped her in her tracks. As her muscles strained inside her, the pajamas Jade was wearing hugged her curves in just the right ways, and Bastila suddenly felt like a flustered teenager.

The soldier turned and caught the expression on Bastila's face, grinning. "Enjoying the view, Princess?"

Bastila swallowed and raised an eyebrow, amused at the way Jade faltered. She rose to her feet and pretended that her knee didn't ache as she moved toward the soldier. Jade's eyes widened slightly, and Bastila grinned before stretching up on her toes and kissing her lightly. "I most certainly am."

Jade was smiling when Bastila pulled away, and the soldier studied her for a moment. "I like you flirting back," she murmured. "It makes it feel... real. Even though I am, was, Revan. It's just..." She shrugged, unable to find the words she wanted. "It makes me feel like I'm worth it."

That the soldier could think anything else stung, and Bastila took her hand and squeezed it. "You are," she promised. "To me and everyone else."

The words seemed to make Jade brighten, and Bastila kissed her again to prove her promise.

Jade pulled Bastila close and hugged her tight once again.

The Knight enjoyed the embrace for a few moments, finally remembering the ceremony and pushing Jade away. "We're going to be late if we keep this up," she chided, moving around Jade toward the locker with her things inside. She grabbed a clean tunic and smiled sweetly at Jade before heading off to shower.

The warm water felt wonderful on her sore muscles, but Bastila refused to let herself stand under the stream for too long. She studied her knee as she dried herself off, cringing slightly at the large indent that remained. She realized she was lucky to still be able to walk, though that made part of her ache for Jade once again, and she stuffed her pajamas in the hamper before returning to the dormitory. Jade was sitting on her bed, clean clothes in her lap, and looked up when Bastila entered.

They shared a smile and Jade took her turn in the shower, leaving Bastila alone in the dormitory. She considered going to get something to eat, but wasn't sure she wanted to face the crew without Jade at her side. Instead, Bastila turned her attention to her locker once again, wondering how much damage the Sith had done when they raided the ship. The thought of her father's holocron being stolen occurred to her, and Bastila swallowed anxiety before she moved to the locker and rummaged through it for her bag.

Everything seemed to be in place, though, and Bastila found the holocron nestled in the bottom of the bag, wrapped up in a sock. While she didn't remember doing that herself, she could almost sense the trace Jade's fingers had left on the chip as the soldier carefully stored it away, and Bastila let a rush of gratitude seep through their bond.

Her own fingers flicked over the chip, activating it and searching through the logs. Bastila found one dated just after she had arrived at the Jedi Enclave, and loaded it curiously. Her father's voice filled her ears, the note of sadness not lost on her. He talked about giving her up to the Jedi, how Helena had thought it was best, and how much he already missed his little girl. Bastila allowed herself a teary smile, nearly overwhelmed when her father mentioned how proud he was of her abilities and how he knew she would thrive. The recording ended with a pleased murmur about wild game, and Bastila gazed down at the chip, wondering idly if her fall and return to the light would be something that would have made her father proud.

Bastila carefully returned the chip to its place in her bag, her mind turning the thoughts over and over, and she couldn't help but be grateful when Jade returned and distracted her.

There was a frown on the soldier's face as studied her empty sleeve. She felt Bastila's gaze on her and looked up, vulnerability clear in her eyes. "It's hard to wash your hair with one hand, did you know?" the soldier joked weakly.

"Do you want some pins?" Bastila asked quietly, ignoring the failed attempt to deflect her concern.

Jade hesitated before shrugging. "I don't... I dunno. Think anyone'll run screaming if they see their supposed war hero without an arm?"

Bastila scoffed. "Never. They probably don't even want to see us, Jade. The admiral has probably organized for all of the men to go home, so long as they attend."

Jade shrugged again, still looking somewhat dejected.

 _What's wrong?_ Bastila got to her feet and moved up to Jade, brushing some of the soldier's still-damp hair out of her eyes.

Vague feelings of insecurity filtered through their bond, and Jade dropped her gaze to the floor. She moved the stump of her arm, giving a disgusted sigh at the sight of the empty sleeve swaying beside her.

"Jade," Bastila murmured, hurting for the woman before her. She wanted to say something else, but the words wouldn't come.

"Look at me," Jade mumbled. "I'm..."  _Broken. Incomplete. A monster_. The words came through their bond, apparently without Jade meaning to let them, because the soldier swore under her breath a moment later. "I didn't… I didn't know how bad it looked until I saw myself in the mirror."

"It doesn't look bad," Bastila countered immediately. "You-"

"I'm missing my arm, Bastila," Jade snapped. "Of course it looks bad!"

"You're no less of a person. We've all been through terrible things, and we're all scarred, Jade. Mission lost her homeworld, Malak tortured… did terrible things to me, and you lost your arm. You have a physical scar, but the rest of us don't." Bastila was aware of the clipped tone of her voice and exhaled slowly, trying to keep from scolding Jade. The soldier was hurting, and Bastila didn't want to have Jade feel like she had to hide her pain. "It doesn't detract from who you are, Jade."

Jade seemed to consider her words, but the ache didn't leave her face.

The Knight sighed, wishing she had some way to go back and prevent the attack. "I'm sorry," she offered. "If I had said something sooner or put up a stronger barrier, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

Jade looked up at her sharply, confusion clear in her eyes. "This isn't your fault, Bas."

The brunette swallowed and smiled weakly. "I tried to stop it from happening, but…"

Realization became obvious on Jade's face, and Bastila hoped the soldier wouldn't resent her for failing to protect her. Instead, Jade's eyes softened and she raised her hand to cup Bastila's cheek.

"I felt you get scared," the soldier murmured. "That's the only thing that made me look up."

Bastila searched for words but couldn't find anything to say before Jade spoke again.

"You gotta quit saving my life, Princess," the soldier teased quietly. "I'm never gonna be able to repay you at this rate."

The Knight snorted. "As if I would let harm come to you."

Jade grinned wearily. "I love you too."

Bastila felt a smile grow on her own face at the words, and lifted her chin as Jade leaned down to kiss her. They lingered close together for a moment before Bastila found her voice again. "I think you're beautiful," she admitted, her cheeks heating up as the words left her mouth, "no matter the scars you have."

Jade paused, pulling away enough to look her in the eye. Bastila got lost in the green eyes until she saw the tears forming in them.

"So you don't think I'm... I dunno, a freak?"

"Only when you swoop race," Bastila retorted, pleased to get a sniffling laugh from the soldier.

Jade brushed her lips against the brunette's once more. "Thank you," she murmured, pulling Bastila close for a hug.

The Knight smiled into Jade's shoulder, enjoying the gentle strength of the woman she loved. "We're going to be late," she reminded Jade at length, reluctantly pulling herself out the embrace. "And I would actually like the chance to get something to eat first."

Jade dried her eyes on her sleeve and grinned. "I think we still have some wraid jerky somewhere around here."

Bastila shot the soldier an incredulous look, and they both started laughing. She took the soldier's hand and they walked out of the dormitory and toward the galley.

 

=====:=====

"I would like to present all of you with the Cross of Glory, the highest honor the Republic can give!"

Thunderous applause broke out from the crowd below, and Admiral Dodonna turned to a young officer and took a medal, pinning it to Carth's jacket. She moved down the line, giving one to each member of the crew. Jade smiled proudly as she watched the admiral pin a medal to Bastila's robe.

Admiral Dodonna stepped back when her task was done, saluting the group before her. Carth immediately snapped to attention and returned the salute, and Jade and the rest of the crew reluctantly followed his example.

The crowds roared. Vandar waited until the applause had died down, then stepped forward and said his piece, thanking Jade for her service and commending her for walking the path of the light. He didn't forget any of the crew, and made a point to honor Bastila as well. The small alien gave the Jedi before him a warm smile and bowed.

Bastila had never been on the receiving end of such respect and couldn't help but feel like she didn't deserve it. She was beyond honored, but still didn't feel like that justified the attention.

Jade scoffed in the brunette's mind and Bastila looked over at her, not missing the knowing look in the soldier's eyes. They turned and Jade lifted her arm in a sweeping wave to the crowd, greeted with more cheers. When she finally dropped her hand back to her side, she reached for Bastila's hand and laced their fingers together.

They shared an awed look, amazed at the number of people there cheering for them, and Jade gave Bastila's hand a gentle squeeze. Small fighters flew overhead in formation and off toward the horizon.


	9. Epilogue

Jade sighed beside Bastila, shifting in her seat and eyeing the children that were staring at her. She didn't say anything, but the Knight knew what was going through her mind. Jade was obviously restless, just like everyone else on the transport ship to Coruscant, and the group of children giving the one-armed soldier uncomfortable stares was not making the trip any easier on the Jedi pair.

Bastila was busy worrying about their destination, and when Jade gave her a questioning look, the brunette just nodded.

Jade grinned and started distracting the children with little Force tricks. Their uneasy gazes quickly changed to ones full of wonder, and the atmosphere in the ship seemed to become slightly less stuffy.

The sight of Jade playing with the children, even if it was just with "magic tricks," was charming and Bastila found herself watching as Jade levitated a young Twi'lek's headtails and got a burst of giggles from the entire group.

The Knight smiled; letting the soldier entertain seemed to calm everyone on the transport ship, and Jade's own relief at not being stared at filtered through their bond. It had only been a week since the ceremony on the unknown world, and Jade had decided not to get a prosthetic, but still wasn't used to being gawked at because of her missing arm.

Bastila reached into her pocket and wrapped her fingers around the medal she'd brought with her, letting out a sigh. Jade glanced over at her and did a final trick, lifting a child's stuffed toy into the air and making it dance, before settling back in her seat and resting her hand on Bastila's knee.

"You're gonna give yourself an ulcer, calm down." Jade's voice was teasing, yet gentle enough to soothe Bastila's already-frayed nerves. The soldier rubbed slow circles on Bastila's leg, taking hold of her hand a second later. "Everything's gonna be fine."

Bastila wanted to snort but resigned herself to leaning against the older woman's shoulder. "I wish the trip wasn't so long. It's only making it worse."

Jade chuckled softly. "We're nearly there. They just dropped out of hyperspace a few seconds ago."

When Bastila stopped to listen, she realized Jade was right; the drone of the engines had become background noise, but the pitch had changed as they slowed. Her heartbeat quickened and she tightened her fingers around the medal in her pocket.

Jade was right; within the next half hour they had docked at a port on Coruscant and were nearly trampled by the relieved throngs filing off the ship. The soldier took her hand and led Bastila through the crowd, away from the port and to a relatively open area on the walkway. They consulted a map and headed off to catch an airspeeder and travel across the huge city.

Far too soon, they were entering an elevator in a rehabilitation hospital, and Bastila's heart was in her throat. She knew it was pointless to be nervous; the last time she had faced her mother they had been on good terms, but that had been before everything else had happened.

Jade pressed a kiss to her cheek and sent a calming flow through their bond. "I'm right here, Princess."

The Knight swallowed and managed a weak smile. "Thank you for coming with me."

Jade grinned as the doors slid open, and Bastila swallowed her nerves and limped out of the elevator and started looking for the correct room. She found it almost immediately and hesitated outside the door, giving Jade a helpless look before reaching up and pressing the buzzer.

There was movement from inside the apartment-like room, and the door opened. Helena stood there, a stunned look appearing on her face when she realized her caller was Bastila.

Bastila did her best to smile. "Hello, Mother."

The woman glanced between her daughter and Jade, trying to say something, but all she could manage was a few barely-formed syllables.

Bastila fumbled in her pocket and pulled out the Cross of Glory, holding it out to her mother. "I finished my mission, and I thought… I wanted you to…"

Helena interrupted Bastila with a tight hug, startling the Jedi.

Amusement and affection came through her bond with Jade, but Bastila relaxed and hugged her mother back, ignoring the soldier for a moment.

"I had no idea," Helena managed. "I assumed your Council had sent you on some political-and then you all were all over the news, and Darth Malak…" She pulled away and gave Bastila a serious look. "How…?"

Bastila glanced at Jade, who shrugged and gave Helena a nod of greeting. "It's… a long story, Mother."

"I have nothing but time, thanks to the doctors here," Helena replied, a flicker of gratitude in her eyes. "Thank you, Bastila." She released her daughter and stepped back, studying Jade for a moment, then smiling and extending her hand to shake. "Thank you for protecting my daughter."

Jade grinned and shook the older woman's hand. "The protection was mutual, I promise. You can definitely be proud of Bastila."

The Knight felt her ears warm, but Helena looked back at her and nodded.

"I am."

A lump rose in Bastila's throat and she couldn't keep a smile off her face.

"Oh, but what am I doing? Please, come in," Helena remembered, stepping aside and motioning the Jedi into her room. "You both must be exhausted, and I've just made up a special blend of tea, imported from Talravin."

Bastila and Jade were ushered to the sofa and sat together while Helena went to get the tea, and Jade took her hand.

"Told you it'd be fine," the soldier teased, nuzzling her nose against Bastila's cheek.

Bastila smiled and turned her head, catching Jade's mouth in a quick kiss before her mother returned. "Thank you," she breathed, letting a rush of affection flow through their bond, "for everything."

The soldier gave her a warm smile, and Bastila returned it, thanking the Force for bringing Jade into her life, for their survival, and for the opportunity to be with the woman she loved.

 


End file.
